Is Your Boyfriend Not Listening To You When You Vent?

Are Your Girls Tired Of Giving You Advice About The Same Guy Every Other Week? 

Do You Need Advice On Things That You Just Don’t Want To Share With Your Family & Friends?

Well, No Need To Worry Because I Gotchu Boo! SLC Is Here To Be Your Personal (Unlicensed Ofc) Therapist And Help Give You Advice On Anything And Everything.

Simply Submit Your Question Below For your -SLC Approved Advice To Be Featured On The ASK -SLC Website And/or ASK -SLC Instagram Page

all questions are asked anonymously

*QUESTIONS ARE ANSWERED WITHIN 24-48HRS*

 

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Answers So Far..

  • Someone asked:
    on October 22, 2024 11:28 am
    Nothings changed you tore me apart at my lowest and i can’t heal from it
    • SLC replied:
      on October 22, 2024 11:38 pm
      ???
  • Someone asked:
    on October 22, 2024 9:24 am
    Hey Girl, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me, and it’s been really hard to move on. He was my first in so many ways, and I don’t know if I’ll ever find someone who made me feel the way he did. I’ve lost all motivation, and even though people keep telling me that I’ll find someone better and eventually get over it, I just can’t see that happening. I want to change my life and become a better version of myself, but it’s been tough. Right now, I just feel rejected and unwanted. How do i overcome this And move on?
    • SLC replied:
      on October 23, 2024 2:24 am
      baby them first break ups will always have you feeling like you no longer have the will to move on but i promise you, you WILL. you’re hurt rn and sad but i promise you theres a light at the end of the tunnel. with time and putting more energy/focus back into yourself, you will eventually get over it. The equation i’ve realized when it comes to moving on is this, Time + distance + prioritizing yourself= how you move on. Firstly i’d say you have to accept it. Accepting the break up is key because it allows you move on. Give yourself time to grieve the relationship. its okay if right now you think that you’ll never get over it, its okay if right now all you wanna do is cry, its okay if right now all you wanna do is be with him. Its okay. It’s normal to have these feelings. Continuously give yourself grace through all of it. You’re not going to be over him by tomorrow or next week, or even next month, so give yourself that grieving time and be patient. That doesn’t mean that you just sit around and mope 24/7. You gotta accept it and keep it moving. Out of sight = out of mind, i always tell girls, you need to also remove them from social media, the less you see of someone, the less you’re sitting up worry about what they got going on, Don’t look through their comments, their tweets, their likes etc. unfollow or if not MUTE them. you shouldn’t have any heavy communication with them either. If you can cut all communication off that’s even better but i know thats not always realistic so set boundaries. Right now your main concern should be you, so start doing things that will make you happy. you were with someone for two years so i know you may feel like you can’t be happy without him, but trust me you can. You were someone before you went into that relationship and you’re someone now. Embrace your individuality now. do things that you enjoy (and maybe even things you missed out on doing being in the relationship), just cater to you, your wants and needs. You say you want to be a better version of yourself, so what better time to start then now? You are your biggest priority rn, make time for yourself, nurture yourself, look good/feel good. I would recommend you do some self-reflecting as well. get your journal out, your notes app out or even a pen and paper and get to reflecting. ask yourself what this relationship has taught you and what you want moving forward in future relationships. Ask yourself questions relating to yourself, do you know who you are separate from from your relationship? ask yourself why you feel rejected/unwanted. You cannot tie all your worth into your relationships. Like i said, before you were in this relationship you were an independent, now its up to you to decide who you will be after this relationship. Are yo gonna be the girl strung on her ex or are you gonna be the girl that moved forward and evolved? Its hard now trust me i know it is, but with time and effort on your part, you will be fine. Rooting for you xoxo
  • Someone asked:
    on October 21, 2024 2:56 pm
    I dont know what to think about my mother’s best friend’s older daughter who once knew me when we were young kids living in Florida question years and years ago. ( my family and I ended up moving to South Carolina and leaving Florida kinda early but her and her mom still stays in Miami ). I remember when I was in high school i reached out to her trying to form back a stronger connection , telling her I missed her, wanting to video call etc but she only made time for the people she knew. She wouldn’t ever try to answer my video calls , id always have to text her first despite her had saying she misses me too, and on her snapchat story she hanged out and had fun with her friends so I decided to move on after being disappointed. 2-3+ years Later when I’m 19-21 after high school ( I just turned 22 this month 🙂 ) she decided to follow me on instagram. Now earlier whenever I watched her story I’d like some of her stuff but she barely ever like anything of mines not even a post of myself on my story. She had dm me last year telling me she’s happy that my boyfriend loves me ( she had her own boyfriend at that time as well ) , replying to my story she has the same hair comb as I’m combing my wet hair on wash day trying to relate to me , she asked me if my boyfriend and I broke up all because I decided to share a funny and weird story of a older middle aged white man hitting on me as I was waiting on my seafood boil order , while my boyfriend was waiting on me in his car. But I personally have just moved on with my life, I don’t even like when my mom randomly comes to tell me what is going on in her life and what her mom said to my mother about the ladies daughter. I feel like we just aren’t close anymore and when I was trying she showed me she didn’t care so. RECENTLY, I had went through my 1st time big girl job as a Direct support professional where I have to do paperwork, computer work, emergency procedures, checklist, passing medication out, etc for 4 residents at a residential home with their family involved and our house manager. I had got a Certificate in CPR and Medication Technician. So I sadly Had to leave the job despite my boss saying she’s going to miss Me over something that Got in the way. So I decided to share what it’s like because a man told me it’s a serious job and It was. I shared on my story and I noticed that my mom’s best friend daughter watched everything all the way through and didn’t even support anything ( she usually does that more than liking my story whenever she does watch. I’d say I’m more Supportive than her ). I’ll never forget when I was a kid at the pool my hair was long and she said she was jealous of that. I’m more of a adorable calm natured beautiful girl also trying to work towards My career I want to pursue, self mastery, and finding what own value in my own lane as well. My mom’s best friend daughter She’s more like a baddie type of girl her mom supports her like she was able to get her daughter a car etc. My parents weren’t able to get me a car I had to buss my ass at a warehouse to get a car. But I did watch someone on TikTok say that the people that knew you or once did have perception of you or they might be the least supportive if your doing good rather than a stranger so idk how to feel about her but its kinda weird. I don’t view her As a family friend either.
    • SLC replied:
      on October 22, 2024 10:00 pm
      it honestly sounds like she doesn’t care for you in the way you once cared for her. like you said, it could be strangers supporting you more than someone you’ve known your whole life. At our age, we’re gonna outgrow so many people. The people who you once thought you wanted in your life, can turn out to be someone who doesn’t need to be in your life at all. i think you two are on different paths and that’s honestly okay. you can’t be friends with everyone. Not everyones gonna support us the way we would support them. This is why i tell people to never overextend themselves if they aren’t getting that reciprocation back. Like you said, you have your big girl job now (congratulations btw) and you’re focusing on building yourself. You don’t need people in your life who don’t need to be there, especially potential secret haters. I say wish her well always, but stop putting so much energy into what the friendship ‘could have’ been. Who knows maybe one day you both will reconnect again on a better level, but i say until then, she’s an acquaintance at best and you should leave it at that.
  • Someone asked:
    on October 19, 2024 10:00 pm
    Hi! Just want to let you know that I love sending questions here because it feels like i have a sister that have the same mindset and values like me. I always wanted to be surrounder with women with the same mindset🥺
    • SLC replied:
      on October 22, 2024 11:15 pm
      awww ilysm💖 thats exactly what im here for, too many times women are put up against each other and its like … for what? at the end of the say we’re all sisters and i’m here for each and every single one of you
  • Someone asked:
    on October 19, 2024 10:38 am
    Hi 🦋 Any advice on how to Release Negative emotions? I’ve been thinking of hitting a punching bag but I don’t know if that would help. I used to run before but i’m not in the shape for it now. How do you do? Also does it ever get to you when people vent here?
    • SLC replied:
      on October 22, 2024 10:22 pm
      hi angel🧚🏾‍♀️ i think theres many ways for you to release negative emotions. i feel like being active and physical is a great way to release them. whether it be through body workouts, running, swimming, dancing, walking or even hitting a punching back like you said. All that energy is build up inside your body and through being active it, it not only lets you release it but also can give you some clarity/ a peace of mind afterwards. Ik you said you’re not in the best shape now but i think allowing yourself to start back running or being active in general will help a lot. Another way you can release them is through talking about it through journalling, praying, or venting to someone you care about. Journalling will always be my number one because its like i can actually feel the weight lifting off my shoulders as i write everything out. I’d even recommend writing everything out thats been bothering you and then ripping up or burning(dont start a fire now) the note. It’s such a symbolic way to release all that bad energy. Next thing is through praying, i don’t know your beliefs ofc but i find praying is another way that helps me release all my bottled up feelings/emotions. After talking to God, i always feel more light and somehow my prayers always go from me venting to me ending it being grateful and more optimistic. Lastly i would say just venting it out to someone who you know will hear you is another way to release negative emotions. sometimes all we need to do is let it out through talking about it and getting another perspective. thats really the main reason why i have this advice page because i know that most of the time once you actually put your issues out into words and have someone validate those feelings, it can be such a game changer. In terms of your question of whether or not it gets to me when people vent here, i’d say a little, only because i’m such an empath so i really do feel other peoples pain. Thats why i do have boundaries set on not answering questions 24/7 so that i can also have a peace of mind myself. Regardless of that though, i’m always honoured to be that person that you all can come to. People just need someone to listen and unfortunately a lot of us don’t have that. I’m here to change that even if its just for a handful of people.
  • Someone asked:
    on October 19, 2024 9:52 am
    I gave somebody my love freely and i thought he didn’t mean the things he did because he was going through a difficult time but now i realize i was wrong. He Used To Mean A Lot To Me
    • SLC replied:
      on October 22, 2024 10:45 pm
      unfortunately things like that happen. when people show you who they really are the first time, you have to accept it for what it is. a lot of us ignore the red flags in the people we love because all we see is the person we want them to be, rather than who they actually are showing us that they are. i know it hurts now knowing that you gave your love to someone who doesn’t deserve it, but i hope you see it as a lesson learned. never overextend yourself for someone who wouldnt do the same for you.
  • Someone asked:
    on October 18, 2024 9:32 pm
    How not to not give a fck to everything? Specially to not sense things and people
    • SLC replied:
      on October 22, 2024 12:14 pm
      Listen, these people aren’t paying your bills, their opinions do not matter. You have to create a strong sense of self. Your opinions, your wants, your needs > Everyone else’s. Like I’ve said before, you cannot let what other people think/do hold weight over you. Whenever you feel yourself succumbing to other people’s opinions, ask yourself if they really matter. The more you trust in your own self, the less you care about what other people think of you. This is your life, live it as you please.
  • Someone asked:
    on October 18, 2024 8:39 pm
    What’s your thoughts on “outgrowing a friendship” ? The connection is not there anymore, our values dont align anymore. Were just hurting each other. She’s my bestfriend. My sister.
    • SLC replied:
      on October 22, 2024 11:55 am
      Honestly, some people are only in our life for certain seasons. I know it’s hard to feel like you no longer connect with someone who’s been a big part of your life, but sometimes that’s just how life is. While we’re evolving ourselves, everything changes, even the people meant to be in our lives. We’re meant to outgrow people. Not everyone is meant to level up with us and be a part of our new journey. No matter how long you’ve known someone, loved someone, had the best memories with them etc, no oneis worth hurting yourself over. It’s just not worth it. I think now all you have to do is fully come to terms with it. I hope you two can have a conversation about it if needed. In the long run, there will always be love and respect there, but that doesn’t mean that you two need to be in one another’s lives.
  • Someone asked:
    on October 18, 2024 7:26 pm
    Is it normal For a man to be shouting and swearing At you? especially when you dont have that response with him.. but then he claims that i am belittling him and i have made him shout and swear and he called me a c*nT
    • SLC replied:
      on October 22, 2024 11:41 am
      In the most respectful way possible FUCK NO. There’s no reason for a man to be getting out of character like that especially when you’re not. There’s no reason for a man to be calling you out of your name. There’s no reason for this man to be in your life period. Get him outta here. I’m not even playing because it can start off like this and get way worse down the line once he sees that you’re accepting that type of behaviour. You deserve someone who reciprocates your energy and respects you. This is not respect and you’re constantly lowering your worth by putting up with it. No more, don’t let that man disrespect you again.
  • Someone asked:
    on October 18, 2024 7:24 pm
    So I have been datong this guy for over a year, i found out he haa Been Entertaining other girls By saying stuff like i want to spend the night with you and putting fire emoji on girls pictures, i confronted him about it and he only just apologised now but he is still saying im overreacting and all men do this and i should forgive him and take him back as i am being too strict with my boundaries and i am acting like i walked in on him having sex. Am i wrong to end things despite everything we have been through? He still is trying to get back with me and i am not making it easy to get ahold of me but i feel very disrespected and that he cannot be trusted but i still love him.
    • SLC replied:
      on October 22, 2024 11:36 am
      End it. He clearly doesn’t respect you. the fact that he’s gaslighting you with the ‘all men do this’ bullshit and ‘you’re overreacting’, just goes to show you that he’s not apologetic for it and will do it again. You don’t have time to waste on someone that doesn’t value you. Never lower your boundaries for anyone because the second you do, you start to accept low frequency shit and in return lower your worth. I know you love him, but you need to give yourself permission to walk away from anyone who half loves you.
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