Is Your Boyfriend Not Listening To You When You Vent?

Are Your Girls Tired Of Giving You Advice About The Same Guy Every Other Week? 

Do You Need Advice On Things That You Just Don’t Want To Share With Your Family & Friends?

Well, No Need To Worry Because I Gotchu Boo! SLC Is Here To Be Your Personal (Unlicensed Ofc) Therapist And Help Give You Advice On Anything And Everything.

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Answers So Far..

  • Someone asked:
    on November 1, 2024 7:06 pm
    Is it wrong of me to want someone with no issues and that can give me a soft life? It’s okay if they had issues and have healed them completely. I want love too but i’m not talking about that here. I expect something i maybe can’t give back but I’m tired of it. 🥹. My life would’ve been better if the people in it were healed or wanted to heal.
    • SLC replied:
      on November 3, 2024 11:17 pm
      i think that a lot of people have this saviour complex. they go into relationships trying to heal broken people and realize that they can’t heal them. the person has to number 1. want to heal and number 2. heal themselves. a lot of people (specifically women) end up stuck in these toxic situations because they excuse bad behaviours for ‘oh he’s just hurt’ or ‘he doesn’t mean it, thats just his trauma talking’ etc. and yes sometimes that is the case, but that doesn’t mean we should be allowing people to treat us like badly. i use to attract a lot of damaged guys and i always wondered why. its because i had this saviour complex, but i had to learn that its okay to be selfish and not try to save everyone. we all have issues and we all may have things from our past that we have to heal from. we may never find someone completely ‘healed,’ but that doesn’t mean that we have to sacrifice our happiness dealing with someone else’s pain. i truly believe that people who need serious healing, should deal with that before getting into relationships. so to go back to your question, i don’t think there’s nothing wrong with that sis. i feel the same way. you shouldn’t have to go into any relationship trying to ‘fix’ the other person. its not selfish to want someone whose healed. you deserve a healthy, loving relationship.
  • Someone asked:
    on November 1, 2024 6:25 pm
    Your thoughts on a man that tells you that wanting money or wanting to get spoiled as in wanting princess treatment is materialistic and we don’t take anything with us when we go? He might do it maybe but it doesn’t feel like it comes from the heart. Shouldn’t a man that loves you or sees a future with you want to give you the world? Not want you to or make you suffer and prove yourself like he’s the girl. no matter what. I want to attract a genuinely generous man.
    • SLC replied:
      on November 3, 2024 11:02 pm
      if i was you, i would accept his opinion and keep it pushing. at the end of the day you’re not here to convince a man to give you princess treatment so theres no point in even going back and forth on it. there are plenty of generous men out there who will give you what you deserve without a question. this one just ain’t it. if princess treatment is what you want (and rightfully deserve) then don’t settle for a man who doesn’t believe in it. the right one will come along and have you feeling like you were never asking for much too begin with. princess treatment is otw 👑
  • Someone asked:
    on November 1, 2024 6:18 pm
    What do u prefer someone seeing u as a human with flaws and loving U for u, or someone seeing u as a kind/sweet/good person and loving u for it? Imagine They both give you princess treatment
    • SLC replied:
      on November 3, 2024 10:27 pm
      i’d want someone to see me as a human with flaws and still loving me for it. that is the definition of unconditional love. at the end of the day, thats what we all are, humans with flaws. i’d want to be with someone who sees that, and still accepts me for it. it would just be exhausting having to live up to a perfect or flawless persona. i wouldn’t wanna be with anyone that can’t see me for me, flaws and all.
  • Someone asked:
    on November 1, 2024 12:21 am
    Hi 💚 What do you do to be healthy? My health hasn’t been good over the past year and right when it seems to get better is starts getting worse or something else happens. It takes a toll on my mental health too. Which is already bad but i’ve worked on it and it has gotten better. I just wanna be healthy and normal and i’m tired of this. On top of that I’m stressed and sometimes the root of that is beyond my control which makes it even harder to handle. Like most of the time i’m spending in my room. I’ve started to go out more and take myself to the gym when i feel good enough to do that. And i’m recovering from burnout too. I thought it was going better until a month ago. I’m thinking maybe I should go to a therapist even if i dislike opening up to strangers (or kinda anyone) for the sole reason that all of this has made me scared of death? Mostly mine but also people close to me. Like physically scared sometimes when i feel bad or when people close to me feel bad. I’ve been at the doctors and until now everything more or less is good judging by the tests. There was one month i went to meditation too once a week for a month and that felt relaxing but it doesn’t start again until next month. I know nutrition and movement and rest is key (something that also got better and then it got worse). I feel better than i did last year i thought i was on my death bed that’s how it felt, but i’m wondering if there’s something more you do or know about that’s good for the immune system or something like that? any advice would be welcome. Feels slightly better mentally to share how i feel here 💆🏻‍♀️
    • SLC replied:
      on November 3, 2024 10:46 pm
      hi💞 i wont lie to you, i’m not the biggest health fanatic ( i highkey need to get on my ish too) so i won’t have the best advice but ill try! firstly you should seek out therapy. i think when your mental health is low, it affects your physical body as well. i know it scares you to open up, but i think it could be something thats very beneficial for you. death is a scary thing, but it is inevitable for all of us. if these thoughts are something that is debilitating you, you should definitely speak to someone about that. On the other hand, i’m happy that your tests with the doctors went well, i would recommend asking them for more recommendations too, whether it be vitamins, dietary or mental health tips they can give you. for things you can personally start now 1. get more sleep, and implement more rest! don’t get yourself to the point of burnout in order to rest. you have to prioritize your rest. its not selfish to take a break 2. work out more frequently. i know you said you’ve started going to the gym more on days when you feel good enough to do it, but try going even when you don’t feel like it. if the gym is too much then start doing workouts in your room as well. theres a bunch of youtube videos you can follow while working out at home. 3.journal, like you said at the end, it feels better mentally to share how you feel, so start using a journal to record your feelings. i promise you, it can feel like a weight is being lifted off your shoulders while journalling. journalling is literally like a form of therapy. especially for those that can’t go to others. its a very healing practice. try to implement it 1-2 times a week and see how that makes you feel. 5. research! i wish i had all the answers but unfortunately i don’t. thats why google is my best friend though. take time out to research things relating to your health. theres so many health professionals on social media that give out tips for free so look into that too. again though, do speak to your doctor(s) about different things that can be beneficial for your health
  • Someone asked:
    on October 31, 2024 12:03 pm
    Going through this breakup, and I’m so frustrated that I’m still not over him. Everyone keeps telling me to be patient, but I just want these feelings for him to disappear already. Help a sis out 😭
    • SLC replied:
      on November 3, 2024 10:10 pm
      hi my love💖 i know its hard but you have to trust and believe everyone when they say be patient. i have multiple answers on how to go through a break up so i’ll copy x paste one of them here for you. ‘The equation i’ve realized when it comes to moving on is this, Time + distance + prioritizing yourself= how you move on. Firstly i’d say you have to accept it. Accepting the break up is key because it allows you move on. Give yourself time to grieve the relationship. its okay if right now you think that you’ll never get over it, its okay if right now all you wanna do is cry, its okay if right now all you wanna do is be with him. Its okay. It’s normal to have these feelings. Continuously give yourself grace through all of it. You’re not going to be over him by tomorrow or next week, or even next month, so give yourself that grieving time and be patient. That doesn’t mean that you just sit around and mope 24/7. You gotta accept it and keep it moving. Out of sight = out of mind, i always tell girls, you need to also remove them from social media, the less you see of someone, the less you’re sitting up worry about what they got going on, Don’t look through their comments, their tweets, their likes etc. unfollow or if not MUTE them. you shouldn’t have any heavy communication with them either. If you can cut all communication off that’s even better but i know thats not always realistic so set boundaries. Right now your main concern should be you, so start doing things that will make you happy. you were with someone for two years so i know you may feel like you can’t be happy without him, but trust me you can. You were someone before you went into that relationship and you’re someone now. Embrace your individuality now. do things that you enjoy (and maybe even things you missed out on doing being in the relationship), just cater to you, your wants and needs. You say you want to be a better version of yourself, so what better time to start then now? You are your biggest priority rn, make time for yourself, nurture yourself, look good/feel good. I would recommend you do some self-reflecting as well. get your journal out, your notes app out or even a pen and paper and get to reflecting. ask yourself what this relationship has taught you and what you want moving forward in future relationships. Ask yourself questions relating to yourself, do you know who you are separate from from your relationship? ask yourself why you feel rejected/unwanted. You cannot tie all your worth into your relationships. Like i said, before you were in this relationship you were an independent, now its up to you to decide who you will be after this relationship. Are yo gonna be the girl strung on her ex or are you gonna be the girl that moved forward and evolved? Its hard now trust me i know it is, but with time and effort on your part, you will be fine.’ hope this helps xoxo
  • Someone asked:
    on October 31, 2024 8:01 am
    I want to gain some social skills but i don’t know where to start. It’s not that i can’t be social and all that, i very much do with the right people, but i feel like there’s something that doesn’t click and I don’t know what it iiiiiis. What how do people talk with eachother, i feel like it just gets impersonal from the get go. Like i can’t explain it but other people just have that flow to it. And they have like two steps figured out while i think while i talk. Care to share some advice/experience? As many as possible as you can and whatever you think of 👻
    • SLC replied:
      on November 3, 2024 10:23 pm
      i use to have the same problem honestly, its like when it came to my people i was good but when it came to everyone else i was ehhh. shout out social anxiety lmao. what helped me though was a couple things, firstly exposure therapy. you just gotta go out there and do it. fake it till you make it. start up conversations with people, whether its someone at work, someone on the street, a cashier, someone waiting behind you in line etc, just start up a convo. it doesn’t have to be anything crazy but just something to get you used to speaking to people you don’t necessarily know. when i started doing this, i realized that people weren’t as scary as i thought. if you’re too afraid to start with that, try smiling and random people first. again, this helps reframe your brain from ‘people are scary and judgey’ to ‘people aren’t that bad’. now don’t get me wrong, some will reciprocate your energy and others won’t, but its okay. i think dealing with rejection from others and moving forward from it also helps with this because you realize you can actually cope with it. the next thing i started implementing was actually listening to people while speaking to them. instead of worrying about what i would say next or how i sounded, i started focusing more on what the person was saying and it made it easier to engage in the conversation. asking questions goes hand in hand with this tip too. i learned that people love talking about themselves so i started asking more questions to build up the conversations more. its easy to ask these questions as well if you’re actively listening to what they’re saying. so listening+asking questions is a great secret weapon in having good conversation skills. the last tip i’d give you is to just not overthink it. i know its easier said than done, but think about it, do you really remember in depth the last convo you had with a stranger? realistically, no one is actually looking back, sitting here and judging what you’ve said. most of the times people just forget. you have to remember that everyone is so wrapped up in what they’re doing that they barely have time to focus on you. i hope these tips help you because they definitely helped me. bonus tip- i’d recommend you read the book ‘how to win friends and influence people’💞
  • Someone asked:
    on October 31, 2024 6:57 am
    Hey 💓 You ever had a guy try to think of your weak spots so he can get you back? i had a guy doing me wrong and then tell me nobody is perfect. Wild. I’ll just go fuck someone this weekend then and come back to him. Or knowing that he made me miss out on my part in many ways and he didn’t spend shit on me so he’s trying to lure me in by promising to take me on a trip show love and buying things as if it’s not long overdue. Didn’t hurt his pockets. He tried gassing me up after other women caught his attention to cover up how he made me feel. And my favourite acting like he doubts that I’m faithfull so he can turn it around on me. Sick and tired. He has instagram so it’s easy for him to meet someone else. i don’t and I don’t feel like i’m in a phase of wanting to date around yet. If he knew this he might plan on leading me on and have something with other girls behind my back :). Hard to trust people these days especially men
    • SLC replied:
      on November 3, 2024 10:02 pm
      to answer your first question yes, i’ve had guys try to come back and gaslight me, did it ever work though? fuck no lol. don’t let this man comeback and try to manipulate you. he knows exactly what he’s doing and from the sounds of it, you know what he’s doing too. its never worth it giving a second chance to someone you don’t trust. its never worth it to be with someone who leaves you feeling drained. you’re worth is waaay more than that. leave that man where he’s at.
  • Someone asked:
    on October 31, 2024 4:07 am
    Im having a hard time on focusing on my own life, im continuously learning new things but sometimes I kept looking at other woman’s life. I put in my mind what u said last time abt how to stop being insecure abt other woman. But sometimes I keep giving fucks on other peoples lives like its tiring tbh😪 i dont like to be like this
    • SLC replied:
      on November 3, 2024 9:53 pm
      then what you have to start doing is training yourself to not look at what others are doing. if you gotta mute or delete certain people off of social media then do so. you also need to start reframing your mind. whenever you’re feeling insecure about yourself due to someone else, start telling yourself little things like ‘if she can have this lifestyle, so can i’, ‘instead of being jealous, let me feel inspired’, ‘i’m happy for her’, ‘just because she has this, doesn’t mean that i no longer can’, doing this will get you out of a insecure mindset and more into an inspired mindset. you also need to work on building up your own self esteem. once you stop criticizing yourself and choose acceptance, you can start moving forward. start reminding yourself of things that you love about yourself, both physically and mentally. start visualizing yourself as a confident person; as your dream self. would your dream self be sitting here self pitying herself because other women look good? nope, i don’t think she would. start waking up every morning knowing that you’re deserving sis. this is your life, your own beautiful, unique life. start living it and stop living through the lives of other people.
  • Someone asked:
    on October 31, 2024 4:06 am
    For anyone struggling with it i found that dealing with anxiety or Intrusive thoughts etc, whichever of those Two since it’s the same processes, through jenna overbaugh helped. she has a lot of free content on iG, spotify and her newsletter so you don’t have to pay (I didn’t).
    • SLC replied:
      on November 3, 2024 9:42 pm
      aw you’re an angel. i hope the girlies look into this💞
  • Someone asked:
    on October 31, 2024 1:11 am
    How do you keep the faith on things that your praying for?💗 im very impatient girl and im in the process of unlearning this
    • SLC replied:
      on November 3, 2024 9:40 pm
      i just have this unwavering faith that everything will work out for me. I don’t question when it will happen because i know that everything happens in due time. I always use the analogy of placing an order. when you place a order, you don’t keep placing the order over and over again because you know that your first order was placed and trust that it will arrive. same thing goes with manifesting. you asked for what you want and now you have to believe that it will come to you. The lack of belief is whats keeping you impatient. Once you know your order is placed, stop stressing over it. instead of worrying about ‘when’ its coming, get excited for its arrival in the meantime.
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