Is Your Boyfriend Not Listening To You When You Vent?

Are Your Girls Tired Of Giving You Advice About The Same Guy Every Other Week? 

Do You Need Advice On Things That You Just Don’t Want To Share With Your Family & Friends?

Well, No Need To Worry Because I Gotchu Boo! SLC Is Here To Be Your Personal (Unlicensed Ofc) Therapist And Help Give You Advice On Anything And Everything.

Simply Submit Your Question Below For your -SLC Approved Advice To Be Featured On The ASK -SLC Website And/or ASK -SLC Instagram Page

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Answers So Far..

  • Someone asked:
    Hope everyone gets what they deserve in this life 🤍
    • SLC replied:
      me and you both💞
  • Someone asked:
    Hi! I just want to know your thoughts on this matter. Me and my bestfriend have this small business but suddenly she just continue it on her own. Like for me its kinda disrespectful because we talk about it that we will continue the online business then Suddenly she continued it on her own. So yes i let her be. Bcoz its just a side hustle for me so its not that much. But i learned today that she’s using the instagram account business we both made years ago. Like she never asked for my permission to activate that account again to use for our business that she continue by herself🤣 so yea. Its a lesson learned for me to not mixed friendship and business. PS: we agreed that we will both continue the business when im already ok. But one day I just saw her continue it bt herself. I feel so disrespected. Like if u dont have any plan to include me then you should have not told me that we will continue the business…
    • SLC replied:
      yah see sometimes mixing business with friendships or mixing business with pleasure is a no go. i think if it bothers you this much you should have a conversation with her about it, especially if you are still interested in being in the business. maybe in her mind she thinks you were no longer interested and she wanted to move forward with it. does that give her the right to start it back without discussing it with you first? definitely not, but i do see where she might have though that it was okay for her to do. so yeah have a talk with her about it because at the end of the day if you guys went into this as partners so that business is technically 50% yours and you deserve your say. another reason to speak to her about it business aside is because you two are best friends and whether or not you want to continue with the business, you wouldn’t want this situation causing you to have you built up animosity towards her.
  • Someone asked:
    I’m tired of everything. I feel like I have to work through everything to get something not good but just decent bare minimum if even from life. Others just live & get everything. They do what they want and feel like bcs they can and they still have it good. Maybe their life isn’t perfect but not everything is a mess. some people really do have it all they always had a good life. And i’m supposed to feel grateful for it like i don’t deserve to take up space on earth. I don’t even know what normal feels like sometimes.
    • SLC replied:
      ima stop you right there, you definitely deserve to take up space. you deserve to take up all the space you need; simply because you exist. knowing that others have it easy while you don’t is justifiably frustrating. However, that doesn’t mean that good things won’t come to you or that one day you won’t have it easier. unfortunately we don’t get to pick the circumstances we are born into, but as we mature, we do have control over the choices we make to better our situation or not. we can’t sit in a place of self pity because we never got certain things handed to us. all we can do now is move forward. If we don’t, we’ll just stay in a negative cycle; and that’s where its harder to be grateful. i promise you there’s someone out there that would switch places with you in a heart beat. that fact in itself is what should keep you grateful. you may not have it all now but 1. you have it better than most 2. you have your whole life to get there. i don’t think you’d want everything handed to you on a silver platter anyways, it doesn’t build character. you are who you are through your trials and tribulations. why do you think so many people say the journey is far more important than the destination? i seen a tweet that resonated with me and i hope it resonates with you to so i’ll leave you with this, ‘Be thankful even for the little things, be thankful even when things aren’t easy, eventually everything will workout for you.’
  • Someone asked:
    Is it wrong of me to want someone with no issues and that can give me a soft life? It’s okay if they had issues and have healed them completely. I want love too but i’m not talking about that here. I expect something i maybe can’t give back but I’m tired of it. 🥹. My life would’ve been better if the people in it were healed or wanted to heal.
    • SLC replied:
      i think that a lot of people have this saviour complex. they go into relationships trying to heal broken people and realize that they can’t heal them. the person has to number 1. want to heal and number 2. heal themselves. a lot of people (specifically women) end up stuck in these toxic situations because they excuse bad behaviours for ‘oh he’s just hurt’ or ‘he doesn’t mean it, thats just his trauma talking’ etc. and yes sometimes that is the case, but that doesn’t mean we should be allowing people to treat us like badly. i use to attract a lot of damaged guys and i always wondered why. its because i had this saviour complex, but i had to learn that its okay to be selfish and not try to save everyone. we all have issues and we all may have things from our past that we have to heal from. we may never find someone completely ‘healed,’ but that doesn’t mean that we have to sacrifice our happiness dealing with someone else’s pain. i truly believe that people who need serious healing, should deal with that before getting into relationships. so to go back to your question, i don’t think there’s nothing wrong with that sis. i feel the same way. you shouldn’t have to go into any relationship trying to ‘fix’ the other person. its not selfish to want someone whose healed. you deserve a healthy, loving relationship.
  • Someone asked:
    Your thoughts on a man that tells you that wanting money or wanting to get spoiled as in wanting princess treatment is materialistic and we don’t take anything with us when we go? He might do it maybe but it doesn’t feel like it comes from the heart. Shouldn’t a man that loves you or sees a future with you want to give you the world? Not want you to or make you suffer and prove yourself like he’s the girl. no matter what. I want to attract a genuinely generous man.
    • SLC replied:
      if i was you, i would accept his opinion and keep it pushing. at the end of the day you’re not here to convince a man to give you princess treatment so theres no point in even going back and forth on it. there are plenty of generous men out there who will give you what you deserve without a question. this one just ain’t it. if princess treatment is what you want (and rightfully deserve) then don’t settle for a man who doesn’t believe in it. the right one will come along and have you feeling like you were never asking for much too begin with. princess treatment is otw 👑
  • Someone asked:
    What do u prefer someone seeing u as a human with flaws and loving U for u, or someone seeing u as a kind/sweet/good person and loving u for it? Imagine They both give you princess treatment
    • SLC replied:
      i’d want someone to see me as a human with flaws and still loving me for it. that is the definition of unconditional love. at the end of the day, thats what we all are, humans with flaws. i’d want to be with someone who sees that, and still accepts me for it. it would just be exhausting having to live up to a perfect or flawless persona. i wouldn’t wanna be with anyone that can’t see me for me, flaws and all.
  • Someone asked:
    Hi 💚 What do you do to be healthy? My health hasn’t been good over the past year and right when it seems to get better is starts getting worse or something else happens. It takes a toll on my mental health too. Which is already bad but i’ve worked on it and it has gotten better. I just wanna be healthy and normal and i’m tired of this. On top of that I’m stressed and sometimes the root of that is beyond my control which makes it even harder to handle. Like most of the time i’m spending in my room. I’ve started to go out more and take myself to the gym when i feel good enough to do that. And i’m recovering from burnout too. I thought it was going better until a month ago. I’m thinking maybe I should go to a therapist even if i dislike opening up to strangers (or kinda anyone) for the sole reason that all of this has made me scared of death? Mostly mine but also people close to me. Like physically scared sometimes when i feel bad or when people close to me feel bad. I’ve been at the doctors and until now everything more or less is good judging by the tests. There was one month i went to meditation too once a week for a month and that felt relaxing but it doesn’t start again until next month. I know nutrition and movement and rest is key (something that also got better and then it got worse). I feel better than i did last year i thought i was on my death bed that’s how it felt, but i’m wondering if there’s something more you do or know about that’s good for the immune system or something like that? any advice would be welcome. Feels slightly better mentally to share how i feel here 💆🏻‍♀️
    • SLC replied:
      hi💞 i wont lie to you, i’m not the biggest health fanatic ( i highkey need to get on my ish too) so i won’t have the best advice but ill try! firstly you should seek out therapy. i think when your mental health is low, it affects your physical body as well. i know it scares you to open up, but i think it could be something thats very beneficial for you. death is a scary thing, but it is inevitable for all of us. if these thoughts are something that is debilitating you, you should definitely speak to someone about that. On the other hand, i’m happy that your tests with the doctors went well, i would recommend asking them for more recommendations too, whether it be vitamins, dietary or mental health tips they can give you. for things you can personally start now 1. get more sleep, and implement more rest! don’t get yourself to the point of burnout in order to rest. you have to prioritize your rest. its not selfish to take a break 2. work out more frequently. i know you said you’ve started going to the gym more on days when you feel good enough to do it, but try going even when you don’t feel like it. if the gym is too much then start doing workouts in your room as well. theres a bunch of youtube videos you can follow while working out at home. 3.journal, like you said at the end, it feels better mentally to share how you feel, so start using a journal to record your feelings. i promise you, it can feel like a weight is being lifted off your shoulders while journalling. journalling is literally like a form of therapy. especially for those that can’t go to others. its a very healing practice. try to implement it 1-2 times a week and see how that makes you feel. 5. research! i wish i had all the answers but unfortunately i don’t. thats why google is my best friend though. take time out to research things relating to your health. theres so many health professionals on social media that give out tips for free so look into that too. again though, do speak to your doctor(s) about different things that can be beneficial for your health
  • Someone asked:
    Going through this breakup, and I’m so frustrated that I’m still not over him. Everyone keeps telling me to be patient, but I just want these feelings for him to disappear already. Help a sis out 😭
    • SLC replied:
      hi my love💖 i know its hard but you have to trust and believe everyone when they say be patient. i have multiple answers on how to go through a break up so i’ll copy x paste one of them here for you. ‘The equation i’ve realized when it comes to moving on is this, Time + distance + prioritizing yourself= how you move on. Firstly i’d say you have to accept it. Accepting the break up is key because it allows you move on. Give yourself time to grieve the relationship. its okay if right now you think that you’ll never get over it, its okay if right now all you wanna do is cry, its okay if right now all you wanna do is be with him. Its okay. It’s normal to have these feelings. Continuously give yourself grace through all of it. You’re not going to be over him by tomorrow or next week, or even next month, so give yourself that grieving time and be patient. That doesn’t mean that you just sit around and mope 24/7. You gotta accept it and keep it moving. Out of sight = out of mind, i always tell girls, you need to also remove them from social media, the less you see of someone, the less you’re sitting up worry about what they got going on, Don’t look through their comments, their tweets, their likes etc. unfollow or if not MUTE them. you shouldn’t have any heavy communication with them either. If you can cut all communication off that’s even better but i know thats not always realistic so set boundaries. Right now your main concern should be you, so start doing things that will make you happy. you were with someone for two years so i know you may feel like you can’t be happy without him, but trust me you can. You were someone before you went into that relationship and you’re someone now. Embrace your individuality now. do things that you enjoy (and maybe even things you missed out on doing being in the relationship), just cater to you, your wants and needs. You say you want to be a better version of yourself, so what better time to start then now? You are your biggest priority rn, make time for yourself, nurture yourself, look good/feel good. I would recommend you do some self-reflecting as well. get your journal out, your notes app out or even a pen and paper and get to reflecting. ask yourself what this relationship has taught you and what you want moving forward in future relationships. Ask yourself questions relating to yourself, do you know who you are separate from from your relationship? ask yourself why you feel rejected/unwanted. You cannot tie all your worth into your relationships. Like i said, before you were in this relationship you were an independent, now its up to you to decide who you will be after this relationship. Are yo gonna be the girl strung on her ex or are you gonna be the girl that moved forward and evolved? Its hard now trust me i know it is, but with time and effort on your part, you will be fine.’ hope this helps xoxo
  • Someone asked:
    I want to gain some social skills but i don’t know where to start. It’s not that i can’t be social and all that, i very much do with the right people, but i feel like there’s something that doesn’t click and I don’t know what it iiiiiis. What how do people talk with eachother, i feel like it just gets impersonal from the get go. Like i can’t explain it but other people just have that flow to it. And they have like two steps figured out while i think while i talk. Care to share some advice/experience? As many as possible as you can and whatever you think of 👻
    • SLC replied:
      i use to have the same problem honestly, its like when it came to my people i was good but when it came to everyone else i was ehhh. shout out social anxiety lmao. what helped me though was a couple things, firstly exposure therapy. you just gotta go out there and do it. fake it till you make it. start up conversations with people, whether its someone at work, someone on the street, a cashier, someone waiting behind you in line etc, just start up a convo. it doesn’t have to be anything crazy but just something to get you used to speaking to people you don’t necessarily know. when i started doing this, i realized that people weren’t as scary as i thought. if you’re too afraid to start with that, try smiling and random people first. again, this helps reframe your brain from ‘people are scary and judgey’ to ‘people aren’t that bad’. now don’t get me wrong, some will reciprocate your energy and others won’t, but its okay. i think dealing with rejection from others and moving forward from it also helps with this because you realize you can actually cope with it. the next thing i started implementing was actually listening to people while speaking to them. instead of worrying about what i would say next or how i sounded, i started focusing more on what the person was saying and it made it easier to engage in the conversation. asking questions goes hand in hand with this tip too. i learned that people love talking about themselves so i started asking more questions to build up the conversations more. its easy to ask these questions as well if you’re actively listening to what they’re saying. so listening+asking questions is a great secret weapon in having good conversation skills. the last tip i’d give you is to just not overthink it. i know its easier said than done, but think about it, do you really remember in depth the last convo you had with a stranger? realistically, no one is actually looking back, sitting here and judging what you’ve said. most of the times people just forget. you have to remember that everyone is so wrapped up in what they’re doing that they barely have time to focus on you. i hope these tips help you because they definitely helped me. bonus tip- i’d recommend you read the book ‘how to win friends and influence people’💞
  • Someone asked:
    Hey 💓 You ever had a guy try to think of your weak spots so he can get you back? i had a guy doing me wrong and then tell me nobody is perfect. Wild. I’ll just go fuck someone this weekend then and come back to him. Or knowing that he made me miss out on my part in many ways and he didn’t spend shit on me so he’s trying to lure me in by promising to take me on a trip show love and buying things as if it’s not long overdue. Didn’t hurt his pockets. He tried gassing me up after other women caught his attention to cover up how he made me feel. And my favourite acting like he doubts that I’m faithfull so he can turn it around on me. Sick and tired. He has instagram so it’s easy for him to meet someone else. i don’t and I don’t feel like i’m in a phase of wanting to date around yet. If he knew this he might plan on leading me on and have something with other girls behind my back :). Hard to trust people these days especially men
    • SLC replied:
      to answer your first question yes, i’ve had guys try to come back and gaslight me, did it ever work though? fuck no lol. don’t let this man comeback and try to manipulate you. he knows exactly what he’s doing and from the sounds of it, you know what he’s doing too. its never worth it giving a second chance to someone you don’t trust. its never worth it to be with someone who leaves you feeling drained. you’re worth is waaay more than that. leave that man where he’s at.