Is Your Boyfriend Not Listening To You When You Vent?

Are Your Girls Tired Of Giving You Advice About The Same Guy Every Other Week? 

Do You Need Advice On Things That You Just Don’t Want To Share With Your Family & Friends?

Well, No Need To Worry Because I Gotchu Boo! SLC Is Here To Be Your Personal (Unlicensed Ofc) Therapist And Help Give You Advice On Anything And Everything.

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Answers So Far..

  • Someone asked:
    on January 15, 2022 3:06 pm
    Hi, am i wrong to be irritated if i see my boyfriend online and Taking long to reply to me within 5 mins so often ?
    • SLC replied:
      on January 16, 2022 4:06 pm
      hi girl, I see where the irritation can come from, no one likes feeling like they’re being ignored, but honestly, I say if he’s only replying late by 5 minutes or so, then that doesn’t seem like something you should over stress yourself about. (Girl at least he’s replying lmao) Tbh I even catch myself doing that to people, where I’m caught up on socials and forget to reply. I’m pretty sure it’s all harmless. If it gets to a point where you feel like he’s blatantly ignoring you, and doing it hella often, then bring it up to him. For now, though, I’d say chill and don’t look for issues that aren’t really there.
  • Someone asked:
    on January 7, 2022 5:11 am
    Hey! I’m feeling so lonely. I have so many problems right now that i can’t even explain. I don’t know how to explain my feelings but i have no one. Even I don’t have any friends. My family doesn’t understands me. I just want peace , happiness but everytime i look in the mirror i am so dissatisfied. Idk what to do. I want freedom. I don’t want any kind of responsibility i want to take a moment for me. Am tired of everything around me. Help me!
    • SLC replied:
      on January 7, 2022 9:13 pm
      Hey girl! First things first you need to shift towards positive thinking! Whenever you think a negative thought, don’t let it harbor in your mind and replace it with something that will benefit you instead. What’s your escape, do you like to sing, dance journal, read, work out, etc? Whatever it is, do it in that present moment to make yourself feel better. Train your mind to understand that what you’re currently going through isn’t permanent. Of course, our stories are written, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have the authority to make certain changes! Not everyone is going to understand what you’re going through, and that’s okay. However, if you could start by going out or finding a safe space to talk about your feelings, whether it’s therapy or meeting new people ( don’t rush it ), that would make a positive impact in your life, do it. I know this all won’t happen in a snap of a finger, so in the meantime do your best to find peace, whether that’s praying, thinking optimistically, manifesting, etc. I say figure out a plan, write out your desires, write out your problems and see what’s the best point of solution to resolve them. Learn yourself through journaling and reflecting. Overall, all I’m saying is to do your best to be positive throughout this whole thing, this too shall pass, the more positive you are, the more positivity will attract. Don’t let your problems weigh you down, but rise from them and show them who tf the boss is (YOU)! Life will try to play you sometimes, but you have to show life that you’re in charge. You’re superior. Always remember that. Anything is possible. Everything is going to be okay and if it’s not, then it’s not the end! If you’re going through hell, don’t stop keep moving! Take care of yourself, I know you’ll be good sis!
  • Someone asked:
    on January 5, 2022 4:55 pm
    Hey sis, I’m dating this Amazing guy that i love so much We will be 4 years this year, but there is this other guy that i have been crushing on for over 6 years now. The Problem is we Almost dated with this guy before i met my Boyfriend but it Didn’t happen Because he never really asked me to date him, and from then we both find ourselves dating but crushing On each other. What hurts me is that he usually comes and tells me how am the love of his life and once i pay any attention to him, he leaves me hanging, he wont respond to my texts or answer my calls. Then go months without talking until he again Comes to say sweet words to me and saying i never give him a chance. So my Problem is that i have tried everything ( unfollowing him, blocking him, deleting his line) but i still find myself thinking about him. So how do i let go of him completely and focus on my good loving and caring man. Am tired of this situation please help me.
    • SLC replied:
      on January 6, 2022 12:00 am
      I always say, out of sight = out of mind. If you really want things to work out with your current boyfriend, you have to let go of this ‘crush’ and all potential fantasies you may have had linked with him. He’s clearly sending mixed signs, especially with him going ghost every time you give him some sort of attention. I’d say cut off contact for good with him so that there’s no chance of him coming back, getting your attention, and then leaving again. Doing so though, you have to be real with yourself, if this ‘crush’ is someone who you can’t get out of your mind no matter what, then you need to come to terms with the fact that your boyfriend may not be the one for you. I feel as though because you never had a chance with the crush, there’s always that ‘what if’ in your mind. But girl, if he’s going ghost and popping back up with the same story… he isn’t serious. Let go of the ‘what if’s and focus on what he is showing you. Focus on what they are BOTH showing you. You have one guy who you say loves you and one who potentially just loves the thought of you. If your heart is really in it with your boyfriend then show him that by not even entertaining the thought of potentially being with anyone else.
  • Someone asked:
    on December 14, 2021 2:02 am
    How do I maintain my individuality and continue to love, cherish, respect and choose myself while in a relationship?
    • SLC replied:
      on December 15, 2021 3:32 am
      You firstly have to make sure that you are your main priority. Point, blank, period. I hate the saying where it makes it seem like two halves come together and make a whole when it comes to relationships. That is completely wrong. You are already whole. And together, you and your partner make two whole people in a relationship. Two whole people who have their own lives and mesh together to create (hopefully) better lives for one another. I would suggest making sure that you have your alone time from your partner. Create time for yourself where you can grow and build as an individual. I also think communicating this to your partner is important too. Express that at the end of the day, even though you two are together, you never want to lose sight of yourself in this relationship. There’s nothing selfish about that either. If anything it’ll better the relationship. So overall, put yourself before your relationship, allow yourself to have your own time/space, and communicate with your partner your wants/needs when it comes to your individuality.
  • Someone asked:
    on October 12, 2021 7:06 pm
    I’m in a season in Mt life rn where I’m just confused and lost,I have always been a girl with goals,full of of life,I always knew what I wanted but not too long ago when covid started i started to feel depressed, lazy etc…know that I’m a Christian, I used to be heavy on God and reading my Bible, I used to always be passionate about my religion etc, but at the beginning of 2020,my passion,my anger for success and happiness disappeared,I gained weight, started to have a bad self image of myself, crying everynight ,felt lonely, etc…I had this issue about guys as well,I felt like I wasn’t attractive ,since no guys approached me ,nor talk to me,so this feeling of loneliness started to grow out of nowhere, I actually have no actual friends, not a single one,I was in dark place mentally, i would just try to graduate, and work,school,work etc…my reasons of living didn’t exist anymore.But I know that God has better plans for me,I tried to gain back myself, around June,July of this year, I started to work a little on myself, I started to pray again and little by little my happiness was coming back,I didn’t care as much about find a relationship anymore….but suddenly, out of nowhere multiple guys got into my life (btw I was single since 2018,and didn’t have any sexual life)I’m not the type that would jump on the first guy,but I was desperate about finding a Relationship and be happy ,thinking that a *man* would make me happy etc…so I decided to try with one of them,and we started dating..we are still together but deep down I know that God don’t want him for me,I know that he’s not the one, on a spiritual level,he’s not helping me…all he wants is sex,he’s not bad as a person but I know that he’s not the one,I don’t love him,but I let my loneliness guide me instead…I really wanna end the relationship but I don’t wanna be alone again, I’m scared to feel lonely and not desired…I didn’t wanna give myself to anyone other than the one I’m gonna marry but I did, I wanna tell him that can’t keep having sex etc but sometimes I know I’d want …I feel sooo indecisive in my life…I apologize for this long paragraph but I really need some help, I’m a 18 year old with immigrant parents, I have no one I can explain my situation to…but anyways thank you for doing this
    • SLC replied:
      on October 13, 2021 4:38 pm
      Firstly, girl, I wanna commend you for getting yourself out of a dark place. Depression & loneliness is no joke and to be able to pick yourself up after experiencing the two is something to be proud of. Now onto the advice. I think you, me & God know, that this man isn’t the one for you. You said it yourself. All he wants is sex, you’re getting no real affection & support that a partner is supposed to give you. You’re wasting your time based on not wanting to feel lonely again but sis, you have to realize that you’re technically still lonely in this unfulfilling relationship. Take that power that you had when you were starting to build yourself up again and use that to strengthen yourself. Do you see how once you focused on yourself all of a sudden these guys started coming to you? He’s not the only man in the world who will desire you. You don’t have to stay stuck in something just to feel like you’re not alone. You don’t need a relationship to make you feel whole, you are whole all by yourself. You’re worthy in a relationship or without one. Wouldn’t you rather be single & peaceful than in a relationship that makes you question yourself? We both know you need to let this one go sis. Focus on you and you will see how a man that truly deserves you will come around when the time is right.
  • Someone asked:
    on September 13, 2021 10:19 pm
    Hi! I apologize in advance bc this will be long. So I have this very close friend whom I love so so much, but sometimes it bothers me that she doesn’t initiate contact first, whether it’s through imessage, facetime calls, sending instagram memes and posts or sending snaps. For some reason, this kinds of matters to me. I know we have a strong friendship, so we really dont need to talk everyday, but I like when people also show interest back, and it’s not always the case with her. We used to facetime a lottt whether it’s just to talk or study together, but I recently noticed that 99.5% of the time it’s bc I asked her to facetime. She rarely calls me or texts me first. For her defense, I must say that she would always (to my knowledge) answer my ft calls and we could talk and laugh for hours and hours, and when texting her she usually replies pretty fast when she can, and we would often hang out together. We have the type of friendship where even if we spend the day together we can keep texting in the evening or even facetime each other. I know we are both busy and have busy lives, but sometimes I just wish she would initiate contact a bit more. At the same time, I’m telling myself that maybe she’s so used to me always initiating contact that she unintentionally waits for me to do it almost every time. Or, maybe she feels like she can go a long time without talking bc she knows the friendship will stay intact? For my part, I know that I have a high need for contact, which is probably why this affects me. I don’t want to tell her or ask her about this bc I feel like this is me taking things personally, or overthinking, or me having friendship insecurities. I want to stop texting first or calling first (distance myself for a while), but I don’t know if it’s a good idea, and I don’t even want to do that. Today, I wanted to send her some ig memes that made me think of her today, but I actually didn’t bc of what I explained. Sorry if all of this is confusing, but I’d like to know what’s your advice (other than talking to her if possible) please. Thank you in advance!!
    • SLC replied:
      on September 23, 2021 10:57 pm
      A conversation should be had between you two! One-sided relationships are very confusing so I understand your frustration, especially because she is a close friend too. I know you don’t feel like bringing it up to her, but this is obviously something that is hurting you and needs to be discussed. People don’t realize that friend relationships are just as important as romantic relationships. They need communication, trust, and support as well. I do think you should ask her, maybe not necessarily blame her for the one-sided communication, but just see what’s going on and if she’s okay. Then move forward from there. We’re all different, and all deal with things differently, so maybe she is just the type of person who likes her space. Maybe she’s going through something that has her busy or more focused. In either situation, you won’t know until you ask though. Have a chat with her and see where her head is at and then explain to her how you feel. There’s nothing wrong with expressing yourself. She’s a close friend and sometimes these sort of harder conversations are meant to be had.
  • Someone asked:
    on August 31, 2021 10:37 am
    Well I recently broke up with my boyfriend because I had done a terrible mistake by cheating on him and now I have a baby. I didn’t Confess, I just acting, assuming he’d do it anyway… He found out, I really wanted to fix Things, said tonnes of apologies, even made it clear that I won’t give up on our Relationship, however I intend to give him the space that he needs. Cool he contacted me and told me that he can’t get the image of me being with another guy intimately and that’s the reason why we can’t be Together, otherwise we would be. but he still suggests we stay in contact and stay friends.. This is really confusing, how am I going to be friends with someone I love and want Back?
    • SLC replied:
      on September 1, 2021 1:39 am
      I’m a firm believer in what’s meant to be, will be. However, with that being said, I think for the sake of you both, space would probably be the best opinion right now. You obviously still want a romantic relationship with him, and holding onto the hope of that while you can only be friends, could be really draining. Not to mention it could turn toxic, especially with all the feelings involved on both sides. The reason he may have agreed to be friends in the first place is that he most likely doesn’t want to let you go; that doesn’t mean that the pain you caused him isn’t still there though. Have your space from him and allow him to work through his feelings. But also use that time, to work through yours as well. Unless you really are okay with a platonic friendship (which it doesn’t seem like you are), do not stay ‘friends’ with him, because that won’t help you from getting over him if he means it when he says there is no chance that you two can be together again.
  • Someone asked:
    on August 11, 2021 10:41 am
    Well my boyfriend says he is going through a spiritual awakening, he hardly makes time to see me now even conversations over the phone are rare, be says im his twinflame and soulmate and i need yo work on my healing in order to balance out our rel, im working on it but im fail to under the sudden detachment,things have changed rapidly, i sudpect hes probably seeing someone, i have Brought it up before and he denies any thing of such and says im entertaining negative energy etc its alot i dont even know what to say or how to type it all Out
    • SLC replied:
      on August 12, 2021 12:06 am
      One thing that definitely needs to be had is a proper conversation between you two, discussing his ‘spiritual awakening’. You two need to create a level of understanding so that your relationship can move forward. If he really is going through an awakening, that could be something that is super personal and may result in him changing. Whether that change will benefit your relationship, is for you two to discuss. It is hard sometimes to grow while being with somebody, especially when you can’t even understand the growth yourself. So with that, try to give him the benefit of the doubt. Communication is a must. Explain to him how you feel neglected and distanced from him and allow him to give you some sort of understanding on his new journey.
  • Someone asked:
    on June 2, 2021 12:27 pm
    Hi hun💕 I’ve got a dilemma!! I Have a major crush on this Man!! We’ve Exchanged a few words but we dont know each other at all. Hes A little known as he does youtube and stuff so trying to speak to him On social media isnt the greatest way to go. I’d prefer to Shoot my shot in person lol but i just Dont know how to go About it. Help me!!
    • SLC replied:
      on June 3, 2021 12:14 am
      Girl, it is 2021, shoot your shot! (even if it doesn’t go in) My advice would be to try and get his number, if that means you have to slide in his dm’s then so be it. Once you have that, see where texting goes and if there’s a lil vibe there. If you’re really just a more ‘in person’ socializer then I would say to arrange plans to meet in person and go from there! I would say good luck but you won’t even need it boo. but ps- do not make it seem like you’re too into him from the jump, play it cute and neutral. You’re still the prize and we want him to see that. Other than that, get your man!!
  • Someone asked:
    on May 17, 2021 4:40 pm
    Hey girl! I really need some advice on my love life lol. I mean its been a long time since i had some male company in my life, ive been Celibate now for nearly 2 years and sis im a big woman with needs!!🤣 im just Sooo careful when it comes to sex im big on energy Exchange and most guys that come my way just dont give me that “feeling”. My Spirit Literally wont Allow me to give myself to someone just for the sake Of it which is a good thing but also annoying because id like some fun in my life lol. I have a thing for this guy he is just my type but he barely knows i exist!! He’s popular ish on instagram as hes a Musician, He’s from another city(i visit there sometimes its only an hour away from me) But i dont know what to do?! It’s like my Intuition tells me that i could have Something with him but we Barely know each other lol idk help!!!!
    • SLC replied:
      on May 17, 2021 11:23 pm
      Sis, I get what you mean when you say you’re a ‘big girl with needs’, I completely feel you on that. However, you’ve been celibate for these past 2 years for a reason, and if what you’re saying about energy exchange is true, then trust in that. You’re definitely not for everyone sis and you’ll know when it’s the right time because the energy will be right. In terms of this musician guy, I would say see where it goes. There could definitely be potential there and you never know until you try right? Just don’t do anything with him that you’re not ready for. Don’t let his Instagram ‘popularity’ or his ‘potential’ lead you into changing your values. There are so many different ways to have ‘fun’ without needing to involve sex, especially if you two aren’t close yet. Keep it at your pace and see where it goes. If it ends up going nowhere, at least you can say you went for it. You clearly value your energy/worth so just be sure to not lower those for ANYBODY.
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