Is Your Boyfriend Not Listening To You When You Vent?

Are Your Girls Tired Of Giving You Advice About The Same Guy Every Other Week? 

Do You Need Advice On Things That You Just Don’t Want To Share With Your Family & Friends?

Well, No Need To Worry Because I Gotchu Boo! SLC Is Here To Be Your Personal (Unlicensed Ofc) Therapist And Help Give You Advice On Anything And Everything.

Simply Submit Your Question Below For your -SLC Approved Advice To Be Featured On The ASK -SLC Website And/or ASK -SLC Instagram Page

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Answers So Far..

  • Someone asked:
    on March 27, 2021 11:39 pm
    Hi, I developed really bad anxiety and low self esteem ever since i became chronically ill. So much in my life has changed and i feel like i’m stuck in a constant loop of negativity. it feels like the entire world is against me. All my problems are money related, even my health/treatment. i’m in a really bad place financially because i can’t collect the courage to apply for a job. it’s like my mind is telling me “they’ll never hire you. you don’t deserve to be financially secure” i know it sounds crazy but it’s really affecting my life and those that are financially Dependant on me. How do i get out of this.
    • SLC replied:
      on March 28, 2021 11:47 pm
      I know it sounds hard but you have to try and push those negative thoughts out of your mind the best you can. The world is not against you, but if you keep up with that mindset, that’s all you’ll ever think. Those voices telling you you aren’t worthy of financial stability are lying to you. YOU ARE WORTHY OF FINANCIAL STABILITY. I don’t know where you live, but if there is any employment assistance you can get while looking for a job, try applying for that. You gotta push yourself to apply for that job. There are so many jobs out there willing to hire you. You can even look for online job options first if you aren’t comfortable working in person as of yet. It’s going to be a process but I know you can make it through. Repeat to yourself every day that money comes to you in abundance. It all starts with taking control over your mind and not letting your mind take control of you.
  • Someone asked:
    on February 21, 2021 10:48 am
    I’m so tired of being broke ….. What should I do??
    • SLC replied:
      on February 23, 2021 9:50 am
      Always remember that ‘broke’ and ‘poor’ are just mindsets. Even if it may not seem like it, money is something that can come to you in abundance. The more you tell yourself making money is hard, the harder it will be obtained. So switch up that negative mindset and keep noted that anything you want, whether it be money, success, etc., is in abundance and is always available to you. To start, do some research on ways to bring in extra income, learn about saving/investing, apply for a higher paying job if you have to. There are numerous ways to get you from ‘broke’ to ‘financial stable’, you just have to put in the work.
  • Someone asked:
    on December 27, 2020 9:50 pm
    Hey girl, i had a question, how do you know when a friendships become toxic or when it needs to end?? Recently I’ve been noticing that one of my friends has been starting to rub me the wrong way with the things she says, how she acts and just her overall vibe. We’ve been friends for years so I Don’t just want to drop our friendship but it just feels so …. toxic now. Thanks for Your help!
    • SLC replied:
      on December 28, 2020 9:29 am
      One thing I’ll say is that our intuition never lies. If you feel like she’s starting to rub you the wrong way, and her vibe is off; that’s not something to ignore. I get that you guys have been friends for a while, but sometimes friendships have seasons. Sometimes someone isn’t meant to be in your life forever. So my advice would first be to communicate to her how you feel and see if anything can be solved from that. If not, you’ll have to ask yourself if this friendship is more important than your peace of mind. Don’t be afraid to let something go just because there’s a long timeline involved. You deserve to be around people who make you feel good.
  • Someone asked:
    on December 14, 2020 3:07 am
    i hate the way i look sometimes… how do i get over that??
    • SLC replied:
      on December 15, 2020 8:08 am
      The one thing I’ve learned when it comes to not liking something is that we have two options, either 1. change it or 2. change your attitude towards it. If you’re going with the first route, aka change it, then you need to pinpoint what it is about yourself that you don’t like, and make a plan in order to fix it. So for example maybe you don’t like your weight, then it’s up to you to do something about it. Get a gym membership, start doing home workouts, maybe incorporate a healthier diet. Whatever it is that you need to do to fix that issue you have with yourself, work towards it. The other option you have is the one that I would recommend even if you decide to go with changing it is, change your attitude towards it. You’ve got to learn to accept your flaws for what they are. If you think you’ve got a big nose, yes you could drop $5000 to get a nose job and problem solved, but if that isn’t an option or something you want to do, you have to learn to embrace it. Look at yourself in your mirror every day and say ‘i GOT A BIG NOSE AND IM PROUD’. Speak positive affirmations to yourself. Start looking at your insecurities as the things that actually make you unique. At the end of the day, it really is your character that matters. There is nothing wrong with changing something you don’t like, but if you have an attitude that is always negative, you’ll always end up finding something else about yourself to dislike.
  • Someone asked:
    on November 16, 2020 12:17 pm
    Hi! I Was wondering if you had any tips for feeling lonely ? I have lots of girlfriends that i see all the time and my family are great, but i just want a relationship! I broke up with my ex in jan 2019 and have spent the time since then working on myself. I’m generally happy with my life, ive started my own Business, im at university and have a good social life but i just Feel like theres someone missing ! I have been on a few dates but none of them really appealed to me , i get attention from Men but In a sexual way and im so Not interested in flings. I feel like giving up hope on finding a gentleman because they are so rare to find! I dont think my standards are too high, im not looking for A perfect person i just want a real relationship! Sometimes i even think about going back to my ex because there are still feelings there but we were too young and going in seperate directions – i dont see myself with my ex forever But im getting lonely so help! Xx
    • SLC replied:
      on November 16, 2020 3:58 pm
      firstly, very happy to hear that you’ve started your own business & have been working on yourself since your break up. Keep it up sis. I know when that lonely feeling creeps in we want to immediately stop it by distracting ourselves with someone, however that’s not always the best thing to do. You and your ex have broken up for a reason and whether you two find your way back to each other or not, don’t let it be because you felt ‘lonely’. That’s not a genuine reason and you probably already know that it won’t last. Rather than distracting yourself with someone temporarily, distract yourself with some new goals, a new hobby, journalize your feelings to get a better insight on why you’re feeling lonely, socialize with friends (as much as you can during this pandemic), learn more about yourself, etc. What I’m trying to say is, focus on you as much as possible rather than focusing on the fact that you’re single. When your main focus becomes you, you’ll be too distracted to even realize those lonely feelings. Learn to enjoy single life because before you know it, the right person will come along. Keep your standards where they are and do not lower them for anybody. It may feel like there are no good guys out there, but there is, & the right man will come when you least expect it. Don’t go searching for him.
  • Someone asked:
    on September 30, 2020 8:44 am
    What should I do when I feel like giving up on my goals?
    • SLC replied:
      on September 30, 2020 12:00 pm
      YOU DON’T One thing I’ve learned about life is that it is rough but another thing I’ve learned is that giving up is not an option. No matter how drained, sad, exhausted, and fed up you are, keep going. Remind yourself every day that good is coming & there will be a point in your life where you will thank yourself for not stopping. “No matter how bad it is or how bad it gets, I’m going to make it”
  • Someone asked:
    on September 25, 2020 12:23 pm
    Social media is really messing with my self-esteem, I don’t want to get rid of it because I Want to stay connect to everyone but its also the reason I feel ugly or worthless sometimes.
    • SLC replied:
      on September 25, 2020 2:30 pm
      1. Unfollow accounts that trigger your self-esteem – if you feel bad unfollowing then you can mute the accounts instead
    • 2. Follow accounts that motivate or inspire you
    • 3. Limit your screen time, Twitter and Instagram will still be there when you decide to log back in. Pick up a new hobby or find a better way to spend your time
      • 4. Stop comparing yourself to people you see online. Most of the time their lives are a façade & even if it isn’t, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. You and that person you envy on Instagram are not the same person and do not have the same path. Most of the time you don’t even want what they want. So why give all that energy to someone else when you can focus on being your best self.
    • 5. Remind yourself that the majority of stuff you see on social media is fake. Therefore there’s no reason to envy something that may not even be real
      • 6. Start speaking to yourself better! More affirmations, more positive self-talk, more feeling better about who you are.
  • Someone asked:
    on September 21, 2020 1:00 pm
    So recently I got a new job that pays me super well and for some reason, I feel like my boyfriend is threatened because I make more money than him. Every time I bring up my job he just shuts down the conversation. There was even a time I heard him mumble how ‘he works so hard yet I make more than him’. I don’t know what to do or how I should feel tbh, it’s really upsetting because I would never put down his successes.
    • SLC replied:
      on September 21, 2020 2:38 pm
      Men and their egos lol. Well, I don’t necessarily know how long you’ve been with him but it is clear that your boyfriend is threatened and it could be for a handful of reasons; one being that he feels that because he is the man, he should be the ‘breadwinner’ in the relationship. I would recommend communicating with him to see where exactly his head is at. When you do decide to bring it up, be cautious of saying ‘ I think you’re threatened because I make more money than you’. Just ask him how he feels about your new job & if it possibly upsets him. If he admits that it does bother him, ask him why & let him know that regardless of who is making more, you’re with him because you want to be. Remind him that he’s still the ‘man’ & at the end of the day, this job is something that can benefit you both in the long run. Sometimes, just sometimes, we have to stroke these men’s egos. If it does become a bigger problem though, I would say to lay out your options. Again I don’t know how long you’ve been with him but any man that doesn’t want to see his partner do better (even if that means doing better than he is) isn’t a man you want to be with. This job is important to you & so is your boyfriend, you shouldn’t have to pick between the two. Regardless of the matter … do not leave your high paying job for no man, unless that’s what you truly want to do. It’s 2020, men need to realize that women are more stronger and independent than ever. Either accept it or leave it.
  • Someone asked:
    on September 15, 2020 2:36 pm
    What advice do you have for someone whose never been in a relationship but would like to Pursue one?
    • SLC replied:
      on September 15, 2020 5:39 pm
      1. First thing I would recommend is that you 100% be yourself. Please do not lose yourself in a relationship. Don’t try to change anything about yourself for this person because at the end of the day what’s the point of being with someone who you can’t truly be yourself with? Be you from the jump and you’ll notice whether or not that person is actually for you
    • 2. Set boundaries from the beginning. Know your values and what you want out of a relationship before you get into one and DO NOT settle for less. Nothing comes out of settling for what you deserve. The only thing gained is the damage of your self-respect.
    • 3. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. I know you may feel like you have to do more because you have less experience but just know as I said in the last point that your boundaries are important
      • 4. Try not to lose yourself in the relationship. I know sometimes we can get super caught up in our relationships but you need to remember that your whole life shouldn’t be based around your partner. ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ or however that quote goes. Have your personal time & space within your relationship. With that being said, also remember that communication is key. Let your partner understand that you also need your ‘you’ time.
    • 5. Have FUN! Relationships are not a walk in the park ofc but the point of them isn’t to stress and struggle the whole time. Enjoy opening up, getting to know your partner, going on dates, & just sharing your world with someone else.
  • Someone asked:
    on September 11, 2020 3:00 pm
    What can I do to start feeling like I’m good enough like I’m worthy enough to be a part of life?
    • -SLC replied:
      on September 11, 2020 7:07 pm
      If you’re on this earth, you’re worthy to be here. Start telling yourself ‘I AM ENOUGH’ every day. My favorite variation of this quote is ‘I am enough because I said so and that is not up for discussion’ Say it when you wake up in the morning, say it when you’re in the shower, say it when you’re brushing your teeth, even make it your passcode if you have to. Eventually, that constant reminder/ affirmation will begin to seem true & you’ll gradually begin to see your worth. You are enough & it is not up for discussion.
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