Is Your Boyfriend Not Listening To You When You Vent?

Are Your Girls Tired Of Giving You Advice About The Same Guy Every Other Week? 

Do You Need Advice On Things That You Just Don’t Want To Share With Your Family & Friends?

Well, No Need To Worry Because I Gotchu Boo! SLC Is Here To Be Your Personal (Unlicensed Ofc) Therapist And Help Give You Advice On Anything And Everything.

Simply Submit Your Question Below For your -SLC Approved Advice To Be Featured On The ASK -SLC Website And/or ASK -SLC Instagram Page

all questions are asked anonymously

*QUESTIONS ARE ANSWERED WITHIN 24-48HRS*

 

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Answers So Far..

  • Someone asked:
    on February 21, 2023 2:13 pm
    Hello! I’ll just get straight to it. I’ve been with my Current Boyfriend for almost 5 years and this is my first serious Relationship. I went from living with my mom, to a college campus, & living with him. My main Problem is that ive never been on my own. Apart of me wants to see what im Capable of by myself. Figure out who i really am aside from the Relationship. Everything is good with us for the most part. He’s good to me and Doesn’t want to break up. I’ve tried about 3 times over the years and it goes no where so I just go with the flow. It’s always in the back of my mind what would happen. Am i wrong to feel this way? I just wanted to focus on me and not have to worry about anyone Else’s feelings over my own.
    • SLC replied:
      on February 21, 2023 2:55 pm
      It sounds like deep down you know what you really want. One thing I’ve learned is that there is no point in prolonging a relationship if you don’t wanna be in it. Im assuming that you’re still in your early to mid-20s, which sounds like, you feel like there’s still so much more for you to explore. If you feel like this relationship is holding you back from that, the best thing you can do for the both of you is to end it. Trust me, you don’t want to wake up 5 more years from now, resenting your boyfriend because you felt like you weren’t able to fully enjoy your life/freedom. I know you’re probably super comfortable with him but nothing ever grows in your comfort zone. It’s your life at the end of the day and you’re the one writing your story. Don’t end up regretting that you settled. Sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is to be alone and learn who we really are. So no, you aren’t wrong for feeling this way, a lot of people end up in this situation with their partners. What’s wrong is if you stay in it knowing that that’s not what you want. I hope you make the right decision and i hope you make it soon. Im rooting for you!
  • Someone asked:
    on February 21, 2023 6:35 am
    how to let go of a soul tie , me and my ex have been talking since we were 15 , im 18 now and he acts like he doesnt care when im the only one who has been here since day one , he is my first love and the only person i have had sex with. he has did so much hurtful things like had sex with another girl in the same night as he had sex with me . i cut him off Completely for some months but i ended up taking him back when he showed up to my house .
    • SLC replied:
      on February 21, 2023 12:16 pm
      sis you’re the one who’s making yourself believe you’re ‘soul tied’ to him. You need to cut off all contact completely. I know he’s your first but that doesn’t mean he has to be your last. He’s showing you how he feels and the fact that you’re accepting it makes it even worse. He’s not the only man in the world. I know you feel like because you two were intimate that now you’re somehow connected to him but that connection can be broken. You just have to be the one to break it. Forgive yourself, cut contact from him, and begin to heal. Don’t ever let a man show you he doesn’t want you more than once
  • Someone asked:
    on February 21, 2023 6:15 am
    Hi, so ive been talking to my toxic ex of 5 years , and im just emotionally tired . he act like he doesnt care , he got caught with another girl and i stopped messing with him for like 6 months , i tired to give him another chance but he Didn’t even Apologize until 6 months after the situation . i tell him how i feel and all he has to say is “i love you alot” but where do he love me alot at its like he doesn’t show his “love” for me at all . i feel as if he puts everyone before me , when i was the only one there for him when he went to jail. i just dont understand why i get treated like i do everything wrong when i actually put my all in this . i dont know what to do i need advice !
    • SLC replied:
      on February 21, 2023 12:04 pm
      “i just dont understand why i get treated like i do” – babe the reason you get treated like you do is because you ACCEPT being treated that way. No one can treat you with disrespect unless you let them and that’s exactly what you’ve allowed your ex to do. You know he’s toxic, you know he’s a cheater, you know he doesn’t have anything to offer you but an empty ‘I love you’ statement. It’s gonna sound like tough love but I need you to stop being so delusional. STAND UP!!! Let him be an EX and end it at that. You deserve someone whose really gonna love and appreciate you. You’re not gonna get that from him. He’s not gonna change sis. Once you show a man how much shit you can put up with, he will only get worse. Stop ‘putting your all’ in him and ‘put your all’ into yourself.
  • Someone asked:
    on January 13, 2023 2:52 am
    Morning, how are you? So, me and my ex broke up last year. We were together for three years and the break up was very toxic and we were Constantly going back and Forth. I Decided to start seeing someone else shortly after and it pissed him off. He then started dating someone who works at my job, stays in the same appartement complex and has some type of issues with me. It okay that he moved on but he is doing all the things i begged him for, to her. And she has No Problem flaunting it in my face. What im asking is how do i just not pay them any mind and stay strong because this is tearing me apart and people in the office are starting to gossip About me.
    • SLC replied:
      on January 14, 2023 3:43 am
      hii love, honestly, this is a question you already know the answer to … you have to not let them see that it bothers you and eventually with that will gradually stop bothering you. They clearly want you to see them. You can’t give them the satisfaction of being bothered by their relationship. I know its human nature to feel jealous especially with someone you were with for so long, but you can’t let them break you. It’s easier said than done to ignore them, but the truest rule in life is ‘out of sight= out of mind’ When it comes to your job, carry on with what you have to do at work, and don’t let the bullshit phase you. Next time you see her, you should even give her a smile. People thrive off of reactions and when you don’t give any, it either ends up hurting their ego or they lose interest and focus on something else. Listen to me when I say that there’s someone out there that’s gonna do the things that you initially wanted your ex to do and more. Once that happens, you won’t even need to flaunt it like she does, because what they do won’t even matter to you anymore. Don’t let their relationship be the main thought that runs through your head. Don’t give them that power. Focus on you and watch how less you start to care about either of them
  • Someone asked:
    on January 12, 2023 6:52 pm
    Hey Queen! 🥰 I hope you’re okay. I’m sad. Really sad. I wanna cry but I won’t let myself because I know there’s people out there who depend on me. I feel alone and I feel like I’m always checking in on everyone but nobody does the same. I know what I’m about to say sounds crazy but I just want to get away. From all this Responsibility. From everyone and maybe never come back. Like another country or something. I feel overwhelmed and I try so hard to keep everyone laughing and smiling to make them forget about any pain but I’ve got the biggest hurt inside of me. I’m not depressed well I refuse to be depressed again. I mean I love my life and I don’t want to do anything harmful to myself but I’m so tired. I want time and space and genuine care. I just want to be checked up on too.
    • SLC replied:
      on January 14, 2023 4:06 am
      hi babe 💞 im so sorry to hear that but I’m also glad you came to me because this is something you’re going to need to hear. Having a healing spirit is commendable, but it also requires a lot of energy, which is why I’m advising you to be more selfish. You need to invest alll that energy back into yourself. I know it’s cliche but you seriously can’t pour from an empty cup. You should not have the weight of the world on your shoulders sis. When it comes to you feeling like nobody is checking on you, it’s the hard truth, but you can’t expect other people to care about you the way you care about them. Everyone loves different. So once you stop trying to seek yourself in others, you’ll start to see them for who they really are. Life is too short to be caught up in other people. Especially if you’re losing yourself in the process. Try doing things that will help you focus on bringing more peace back into your life. What do you find fun? What can you do to make yourself happier? Whether it’s meditating, keeping your phone off for a few hours, reading, watching shows you love, playing a sport, working out, etc., do things that bring you a peace of mind. Life is exhausting enough dealing with our own problems, but adding on everyone else’s is just a recipe for disaster. You don’t need to hide or run away to another country. You just need to stop carrying everyone else’s problems on your back. You aren’t superman or superwoman, release the weight off your shoulders. Breathe. You don’t have to figure it out for everyone all the time. All you need to focus on healing is you. Wishing you the best of luck my love. CHOOSE YOU ALWAYS💖
  • Someone asked:
    on January 7, 2023 7:18 pm
    hi, so my bo does this thing and hes done it since we’ve been together. When he’s upset he doesnt like to talk about his feelings and so he ignores me for a couple days then will apologize, then he would say he is sorry and wont do it again, but next thing you know..he ignores me again because he doesnt known how to talk about his emotion..is he a narcissist? is he emotionally unavailable?? I dont know what to do or think. Thank you for listening!
    • SLC replied:
      on January 8, 2023 4:08 am
      Soooo, I can’t answer if he’s emotionally unavailable or a narcissist because you haven’t given me a lot of information on your relationship. That’s something you’re gonna have to figure out; and trust me, when it comes to narcissists, you’ll know soon enough. What I can say though, is that I can personally relate to the way he communicates and I’m not a narcissist nor am I emotionally unavailable 😅. Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s not the best form of communication but sometimes that’s just the way people like us handle things. Needing to remove ourselves from the situation step back/reflect and then come back once all our thoughts/feelings have been sorted out. Now one thing I will say though is that if you’ve discussed this with him on multiple occasions and he’s still doing it…. that’s not okay. Relationships are about meeting each other halfway. So if you need him to communicate to you his emotions rather than hm ignoring you, he should be able to do that for you (even if its baby steps). Have a conversation with him again about it but this time let him know how its making you feel. Tell him its confusing you, tell him you don’t know where his heads at when it comes to certain things, tell him that you won’t put up with the ignoring/not communicating no more. You gotta be vocal boo. He needs to know that you’re serious this time forreal. Hope this helps 🤍
  • Someone asked:
    on January 7, 2023 9:21 am
    Do you think you might have messed up so bad that you can’t fix yourself or regain your respect and self respect back ?
    • SLC replied:
      on January 8, 2023 3:54 am
      No, I think if you haven’t done something illegal, the criminal offense or something that can have a long-lasting negative effect on someone’s life, then respect can always be gained back. I’m assuming you haven’t done anything along those lines so, the first thing you need to do is learn from whatever mistake you may have made, give yourself grace and do better. Learn to respect yourself again, other people may not be able to give you the respect you deserve right now, but once you have your own self-respect, that’s all you need. The only way people are gonna give you respect is if you respect yourself first. We all make mistakes, as cliché as it sounds, none of us are perfect and shit happens. You are not a lost cause because of something that happened in your past.The only options you have are to sit and dwell on it or learn from it and be/do better.
  • Someone asked:
    on January 6, 2023 5:59 pm
    What’s does it mean when your ex block you on Everything and you Can’t not get in Contact with him?? And always have the Phone on do not disturb??
    • SLC replied:
      on January 7, 2023 2:27 am
      it means you need to let him be. If he doesn’t want to communicate with you, you can’t force him to. The last thing you should be doing is chasing him down. People will show you how they feel about you through their actions, if you’re blocked and he’s ghost, take that as a sign to let that man go.
  • Someone asked:
    on January 3, 2023 4:13 pm
    hi girl! i feel like i rely on people too much 😭 how can i learn to be more independent?
    • SLC replied:
      on January 7, 2023 2:38 am
      hi babes, i don’t know how old you are so its hard for me to know exactly which areas you should be more independent in, but with that being said, my main advice would be for you to start doing more things alone. Whatever it is that you tend to rely on people for, start relying on doing it yourself. It doesn’t have to be everything, but take baby steps. Get to know yourself more, maybe right now you don’t know your own strenghts and thats something you can look into. Take yourself ond dates, ask yourself more questions. Get to know you. Another must is learn to make a decision on your own (without anyone else’s opinion) and stand by it. Yes getting help from your parents, your partner, your friends or even me, might seem like an easier way to handle things, but learn to handle certain situations on your own.
  • Someone asked:
    on January 3, 2023 4:08 pm
    how can i get over someone without any closure? we never got to have a final conversation and i just feel like thats making me miss him more
    • SLC replied:
      on January 7, 2023 2:43 am
      this is gonna sound crazy but … screw the closure. You do not need closure to get over someone. You have to learn to just accept the situation for what it is and move on with life. I know missing someone sucks, and it’s not something that you can immediately get over, but all the energy you’re putting into missing him, is energy you can be using to put back into yourself. Give yourself closure. You don’t need a final goodbye from him to get over him. Close the chapter yourself and focus on yourself.
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