Is Your Boyfriend Not Listening To You When You Vent?

Are Your Girls Tired Of Giving You Advice About The Same Guy Every Other Week? 

Do You Need Advice On Things That You Just Don’t Want To Share With Your Family & Friends?

Well, No Need To Worry Because I Gotchu Boo! SLC Is Here To Be Your Personal (Unlicensed Ofc) Therapist And Help Give You Advice On Anything And Everything.

Simply Submit Your Question Below For your -SLC Approved Advice To Be Featured On The ASK -SLC Website And/or ASK -SLC Instagram Page

all questions are asked anonymously

*QUESTIONS ARE ANSWERED WITHIN 24-48HRS*

 

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Answers So Far..

  • Someone asked:
    on January 9, 2024 4:04 pm
    Sometimes I feel like I can’t go to my friend about certain things because she’ll judge me. idk she just never seems happy for me. It’s happened on a few occasions and I just don’t know what to do about it now. Maybe I’m being too sensitive or reading into things too much but I just feel like she doesn’t root for me the way I root for her.
    • SLC replied:
      on January 10, 2024 2:20 pm
      i’m sorry you feel that way. Friends are supposed to be there to support us, not leave us feeling judged or insecure. I think you should have an honest conversation with her about how you’re feeling, sometimes people can be going through their own personal things and don’t even realize the energy they’re putting off. However with that being said, you said this has happened on a few occasions so this could just be her real feelings towards you. At the end of the day friends are there to inspire us, encourage us, and overall want the best for us. If you feel like that energy isn’t being reciprocated, especially after you have the conversation with her, then you need to decide whether you need her in your life. Take a step back and distance yourself if you need to.We’re only dealing with real, genuine people who love us for us this year. Bye to the rest👋🏾
  • Someone asked:
    on January 9, 2024 3:09 pm
    Hi idk whats Wrong with me somedays i feel im that bitvh Then i dont . For months i been wanting a friend group manifesting one but i be in house stuck im 20. Turning 21 in feb soon i feel like crying seeing others have Friend groups. I’m not Really social but im nice funny n cool. Ion even be on insta or tiktok dont post . I do be on Pinterest etc doing my thing i guess. How do you become more social & grow like on instagram etc? And how do you manifest group friends i really want to grow out fear ! Ik im that bitch i just overthink hypervelating stressing just doing the most! Worrying about views etc I mean i can manifest good tbh its just so annoying when weeks go buy yet barley shii had changed. Thanks boo:)
    • SLC replied:
      on January 9, 2024 3:40 pm
      hi boo, firstly i love your confidence, as long as you know you’re that girl, nothing else matters. This is gonna sound soo cliche but its really the truth, you just have to put yourself out there. It can seem so hard making friends outside of highschool/college but theres definetly still ways. Join a club/class, join a friend-making app (they really do exist), shoot your friendship shot with like-minded women online or even in person (ie, if you get along with someone you work with or going to an event alone and striking up a convo with someone). Listen you can sit and manifest/say affirmations all you want, but the real results come from action. You really just gotta say f the fear and put yourself out there. In terms of how you can grow on social media it’s all about CONSISTENCY. Consistency and engaging with your followers is MUST. Post yourself more, you can’t be worried about judgement that you realistically don’t even know will happen or not. Follow likeminded girls and engage with their content too. Stop hiding when you deserve to be seen. You said you know you’re that bitch so embody her to the fullest! You got this mammas💖
  • Someone asked:
    on January 9, 2024 9:29 am
    Hi love! I need some advice when it comes to people pleasing, how do i stop myself from Feeling like i Have to cater to everyone
    • SLC replied:
      on January 9, 2024 2:37 pm
      you have to definitely work on your assertiveness and setting boundaries. Learn to say no. If it’s not something you want to do/have to do, then do not do it. If you’re forever saying yes and letting people walk all over you, these people start to then assume that you will ALWAYS say yes and they’ll be used to treating you like a doormat. Set those boundaries. For example if someone in your life comes to you asking you to do something for them that you really don’t want to do, you gotta let them know like “yes you’re my friend or my mom or my boyfriend or whoever, however this is not something i want to do and i’d appreciate if you accepted my decision”, (obviously you’d put it into your own words given the circumstances) and simply leave it at that. People pleasing tendencies comes from the fear of wanting acceptance. We want people to like us so we do whatever it takes for them to see us in a good light. However, the right people in your life should always accept you, even when you set strict boundaries. If they can’t accept that, then those aren’t your people. So, don’t be scared to say no, learn to value your wants/needs over others (its okay to be selfish about you), and practice assertiveness.
  • Someone asked:
    on January 9, 2024 5:52 am
    Hi. Me and my Boyfriend have been Experiencing some Problems. Recently an ex claimed that he is the father of her unborn child (she is 8 months Pregnant and he was the one that told me)and im not sure what to do in that Situation. Do i walk away or do i stay and let them co parents? I love this man and we have been Through alot Together hence why it is Difficult For me to Just leave. He came to see my dad for my hand in Marriage. He also left for canada for work and he paid my tuition fees in canda since i will be joining him soon there but i always feel like im the one forcing him to get married to me. I need help or some clarity
    • SLC replied:
      on January 9, 2024 2:51 pm
      hi love, so i wish i had more context on your situation. How long have you and your boyfriend been together overall? Does this mean that he stepped out of your relationship if she’s now pregnant? Its hard for me to give advice not knowing the full circumstances. If he did cheat on you with his ex and she became pregnant then id say leave him and let them coparent in a heartbeat. If it all happened before you two got together, then you’d have to weigh out your options in whether you should stay or not just based on the fact that this life they’re bringing into the world is something that doesn’t necessarily involve you. You’re gonna have to have some tough skin accepting that they now share something that will link them together for life. In terms of the whole moving to Canada with him/marriage situation, again i don’t have a lot of context on that so its harder to give my opinion. When are you supposed to being joining him? Is it soon? If you were to leave him, are you able to support yourself alone in Canada (seeing as he paid your tuition fees)? Why do you feel as though you’re the one forcing him to marry you? Did you have to convince him? Does he not seem interested in marriage? I will say this though, if you feel like you’re forcing someone to do something then it probably isn’t genuine. If it is something thats forced he could end up resenting you for it. There’s just a lot of underlying questions that need to be answered in order to get a more clearer picture.
  • Someone asked:
    on January 8, 2024 2:17 pm
    Hi there! Hope all is well with you. I love your page & your content! Keep shining and doing what you do. I’m dealing with a heartbreak from a guy that i hooked up with for a year. I fell for my sneaky link (*sighs*) He ghosted me recently without any Explanation (something he’s done on and off the entire time we’ve been dealing with each other, but this time it feels different) & i feel Devastated, even though i know i shouldn’t. This man has showed me time and time again that he Doesn’t want to step up and be the man in my life (Leaving me on read/delivered for long periods of time, hasn’t taken me on a real date even though he promised to multiple times, never got me a birthday gift, etc.) but i can’t get him off of my mind. I feel so off balance, out of sorts and don’t know what to do or how to feel or how to even move on. I’ve been so sad and numb and don’t know how to snap out of it. The worst part is he’s carrying on & tweeting and talking to other girls on his socials like he doesn’t care if i see it at all. It’s like me & the time we shared together meant nothing at all to him. It hurts & i just don’t feel like i Deserve this at all. I was nothing but sweet to him the entire time we dealt with each other. How do i let go of him emotionally for good so i can focus on me and my goals? I want to boss up and be the abosulte baddest version of myself this year. But everytime i do, my thoughts always travel back to him & i get sad again.
    • SLC replied:
      on January 8, 2024 3:54 pm
      thanks so much babe! I’m sorry you gotta deal with this girl, but i promise you these feelings of pain won’t last forever. The first step is that you need to acknowledge your pain and accept it. Shit hurts, its a normal feeling.. even if its for a sneaky link you knew you weren’t supposed to fall for. Acknowledging your pain and knowing that its not a feeling that’s gonna be with you forever is how you’ll be able to let go. You gotta see him for what he is, do you really want a man who would go off ghosting you with no explanation anyways? Do you really want a man who is inconsistent and can’t communicate? A man who treats you like you don’t mean nothing? A man who can’t even take you out on a date? Umm NO. Seeing him for who he really is will allow you to let go of this fantasy of him that you might of had. You’ll look back and be able to laugh at yourself for even giving this man the time of day. You know you deserve more. Why waste time being sweet and caring to a man who didn’t deserve you? You also gotta stop checking up on what he’s doing. Don’t focus on if he’s talking to other girls or if he’s subbing you. Mute or block his twitter, unfollow him on socials .. do what you gotta do to see less of him. The more the days pass where you aren’t checking up on him, the less he’ll be on your mind. With all that being said, now its time to put the focus back on you like you said. Be so immersed in your goals that you don’t even have time to think of him. You find yourself bored wanting to go on his socials? the second you get that thought, snap out of it and go do something that’ll benefit you. With these tips i know you’ll get over him and boss up for YOU. It won’t be overnight, but nothing really is. You will be good, i promise.
  • Someone asked:
    on January 7, 2024 12:54 pm
    Hey girl i love your page so much❤️ So this might sound real desperate but i feel like ima be forever alone. People are always saying im too picky when it comes to dating and thats why i stay single. Idk what to do, do i have lower my standards to get a man or?
    • SLC replied:
      on January 8, 2024 10:27 am
      thank you so much angel🤍 firstly theres nothing desperate about this. As humans one of our main innate feelings is belonging/companionship. No one wants to be alone or feel lonely so don’t ever think you sound desperate. Now back to your question, you shouldn’t have to lower your standards to keep a man. Theres nothing wrong with being ‘picky’ if that means you have standards and value yourself. Too many women settle for less and end up wondering why they feel so empty in their relationships. You deserve to have high standards and if none of the men you’ve encountered has matched them, then they’re just not the ones for you. I will say this though, you have to make sure you’re matching the energy you’re trying to attract. If you want a man of ‘high value’ then you have to be a ‘high value’ woman yourself. You can’t expect the most out of someone else if you yourself are not at that level yet. So as long as you know you can match the energy you’re seeking and you know you’re that girl forreal, keep them standards up boo. Never date down just to say you have a man. You’ll end up resenting him and more importantly you’ll end up resenting yourself.
  • Someone asked:
    on January 7, 2024 11:35 am
    Hi i love ur insta! Already the year started and i just feel i need to chase my dream / attract but im scared i want be famous /artist singer but i cant sing that well. None of my family knows i wanna move out wn ddo my dream im just scared. Even to post anything on my ig i be scared too worried about Views. Idk what some tips to get out ur Comfort zone. Last year i felt like i did nothing this year i want to be so bigger and Bolder.
    • SLC replied:
      on January 8, 2024 10:11 am
      thanks babe, i appreciate it. In order to get out of your comfort zone you literally just have to do the things that make you uncomfortable. You wanna sing but think you cant? take singing classes. none of your family members know this is your dream? confide in one of them about this goal (could be a family member that you know is least judgemental). You wanna be able to get views/build your following? POST. Its literally as simple as that. I know you’re thinking girl it’s harder than it seems, but it really isn’t. You have to feel the fear and do it anyways. Anytime you feel stuck you have to remember your ‘why’ and act accordingly to it. Why do i wanna be a artist? Why do i wanna move out? Why do i wanna be famous? The ‘bigger and bolder’ you is in you, she’s right there. You just have to tap into her. Scared and all.
  • Someone asked:
    on January 7, 2024 9:52 am
    You always post about peace and protecting your peace, how Can i do more Of that?
    • SLC replied:
      on January 8, 2024 10:16 am
      ways you can protect your peace: letting go, saying NO, spend time doing things you love, removing negative people out of your life, putting yourself first, prioritizing your boundaries, allowing yourself to feel whatever emotions you’re feeling at the moment, resting, giving yourself grace.
  • Someone asked:
    on April 26, 2023 2:20 pm
    I was the person that asked the previous question and to answer your question. If he came with flowers and a birkin bag would that completely change how I feel? Not in the slightest, as there’s so much that still needs to be worked on. I value having my emotional needs met more than receiving gifts etc. I think really and truly I just want to feel validated and special and know that a man would be willing to do those things for me. I sometimes ask myself if it’s because he thinks I’m not deserving of it. I just feel so embarrassed to talk to him and ask him why he’s giving me the bare minimum. It’s only recently that he’s started paying for my nails when I’ve asked. I’ve asked him once or twice and would say yeah, but then not send the money or just act like he forgot. But this man has MONEY. He’s not broke, he genuinely has money. I don’t really want to let go, but I know I’ll be appreciated, loved on, respected and spoiled somewhere else. I don’t want to be vulnerable with someone else again and let someone else into my body, I just don’t want to do all that again. However, I can’t be somewhere I’m not happy and with someone who doesn’t treat me with the respect and consideration I deserve. I have had to borderline beg this man to stop following and liking other girls pictures, I broke up with him about that once before and he said he’d stop and then started again. This time I decided to take a break and honestly I just feel like I’m going to cut the break short and just break up with him all together, because this is not worth being depressed and upset over. I am deserving of so much more. I just need to keep working on my self concept. I am worthy of true and genuine love and that is what I will receive. Thank you for your advice and answering my question lovely!
    • SLC replied:
      on April 28, 2023 11:38 am
      thank you girl for giving me more context on your situation! I think you already know where your mind was before you even asked for advice. You’re a smart woman, you know what type of energy you should be receiving. You are deserving and I know you know that. What one man won’t do for you, another man will. All i have left to say is go where you’re appreciated babe, always.💖
  • Someone asked:
    on April 25, 2023 1:57 pm
    Is it possible to delete this after you answer? So me and this guy have been together for a while. I dont Know if i am acting entitled, but he would buy his ex designer things and take Her to really nice places and give her princess treatment. He put in a lot of effort, but the effort he put in with her doesnt match the effort he has put in with me. His Finances havent chsnged in any way. I just dont like that he showed me the things he did for his ex prior to us Getting into a relationship and then not do the same for me or even more. It really hurts, sometimes My Friends conpare… they dont say it out loud but their silence speaks volumes. Especially when they asked me what he did for my birthday lol. I dont like it here. Asking for princess treatment when he freely did it for someone else is so embarrassing. I just want to know that hed do those kind of things for me. I have already compromised so much and it is never reciprocated. He just gives me the bare minimum & i am Just so tired and resent him so much now.
    • SLC replied:
      on April 26, 2023 12:51 pm
      hey babe, firstly, i’m not going to delete this after answering because there may be someone going through a similar situation as you and my advice can help the both of you out. This is why i make all questions asked anonymous so that no one has to feel embarrassed by their question. This is a no judement zone and i want my community of women that follow DASH SLC to know that🤍 Now to your dilemma, I never want to be bias on here so i do have to consider his POV and why he might be acting like that towards you. One reason could potentially be that he had all that princess treatment energy towards his ex, it clearly didn’t work out and now he’s more reluctant to do all that with someone else. Maybe he does like you a lot but doesn’t wanna invest in you like he did with his ex for it to lead to nowhere. Another reason is that he may have love for his ex more than he has for you. I know thats not you wanna hear but it’s clearly a possibility. At the end of the day a man is gonna treat a woman how he feels she deserves to be treated. If he’s not doing anything for you but had different energy towards his ex, it shows some sort of disconnect. You’re absolutely right though, you shouldn’t have to ask for princess treatment from a man who you know can clearly give it out. The words you say too are very telling of how you feel “i hate it here” “I resent him so much” and “bare minimum”. If you feel that way now, what’s the point of still being with him? You have to do whats going to make you happy at the end of the day and clearly he isnt making you happy. Ima say this though, if he came with flowers and a Birkin bag for you tomorrow, would that completely change how you feel now? If yes, then you have to ask yourself if what you value most is the materialistic part of a relationship. Were you attracted to him because you saw what he did for his ex and thought i want that too? Materialistic things aside, ask yourself if you actually care/love this man? Reason im saying all of this is because i want you to know what you want the most out of your relationships. Its okay to want the gifts and the fancy dates (shit we deserve it), but there’s also more to that when it comes down to a real relationship. Anyhow, moving forward, if you really do want this man, you’re gonna have to communicate with him and honestly tell him how you feel. Ask why you’re being treated differently and see if there really is a reason why he’s just giving you bare minimum. If you’re already over it then girl, cut your losses now and find someone who WILL give you that energy.
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