Is Your Boyfriend Not Listening To You When You Vent?

Are Your Girls Tired Of Giving You Advice About The Same Guy Every Other Week? 

Do You Need Advice On Things That You Just Don’t Want To Share With Your Family & Friends?

Well, No Need To Worry Because I Gotchu Boo! SLC Is Here To Be Your Personal (Unlicensed Ofc) Therapist And Help Give You Advice On Anything And Everything.

Simply Submit Your Question Below For your -SLC Approved Advice To Be Featured On The ASK -SLC Website And/or ASK -SLC Instagram Page

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Answers So Far..

  • Someone asked:
    on January 3, 2025 3:26 pm
    happy new year by the way! 🫶
    • SLC replied:
      on January 6, 2025 8:30 pm
      happy new year boo🍾🎀
  • Someone asked:
    on January 3, 2025 3:25 pm
    so i am applying for jobs all the time! i pray and wait on the job to hit me back and i dont get the job or i have an interview but nothing goes further than that, all year of 2024. i have a strong feeling that it is God, who is not letting them go through to protect and Redirect me, for his bigger and better plans he has in store for me in his divine timing in 2025. the feeling i have that im going to Experience the greatness of God’s Grace this new year! so should i conti to apply and wait or just Completely wait on god to reveal his Beautiful plans for my life? my mind is in shambles thinking on what i should do with this specific situation. thank you for your feedback.💕
    • SLC replied:
      on January 6, 2025 8:49 pm
      one thing i know is that God will use rejection as a form of redirection! I’m happy that you’re even looking at this situation this way because a lot of other people would think God isnt helping them at all. Your faith is amazing! Tbh i think you should continue to apply, you never know if one of those blessings is in the next application you send out. I don’t necessarily know what your goals are but i also think you should work on them too while simultaneously applying for jobs. keep the faith but also keep on working! A job tip i’d recommend is going to the place (especially if it is retail/service based) asking for the manager and then handing them your resume in person. It shows a level of confidence, ambition and determination. Listen i know your breakthroughs are gonna come even sooner than you expect, God does not play with these blessings once you have faith that you’ll receive them. Rooting for you! xoxo💞
  • Someone asked:
    on January 2, 2025 2:49 pm
    I need to plan to not forget things but i don’t like having anything planned it gives me stress and my motivation is gone when I think that this is how it’s going to be for a lifetime. I have it in my mind constantly. It really stands in the way for me doing things because every routine is a core even if it’s something I enjoy the moment i write it down or plan it. It sucks the joy out of everything and I’m stressing and anxious
    • SLC replied:
      on January 6, 2025 10:10 pm
      firstly, it’s not going to be like this for a lifetime because you’re gonna learn to set systems in place to help you get what you need done.Before even writing down/planning, you have to reframe your mind, if you think of something as a chore then its less likely that you’re gonna want to do it. reframe how you look at tasks. Instead of ‘omg i don’t wanna work out right now’ see it as ‘wow i get to take time out to help my body’, instead of ‘i don’t know what i want, i hate cooking’ reframe to ‘not only am i able to nourish myself, but i also have the option to choose what i want to put in my body’, instead of ‘smh i have so much shit to do,’, use ‘my future self is gonna be so happy that i got all my tasks done’. It’s all about perspective. Get excited about just being able to do something for yourself. When you look at it from a gratitude standpoint, it’s less tiresome. Once you start working on your perspective then you can start managing your tasks more effectively. If there’s 7 things on your list for the day but only 3 are top priority then focus on completing the 3 things and if you have extra time then get to task 4 or 5, if you don’t, leave it for tomorrow. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming. You just have to start doing things in a way that works for you. i’d recommend reading atomic habits to help you set better systems in place for your routine, and yes you can PLAN reading it in a timely matter that works for you xoxo
  • Someone asked:
    on December 29, 2024 9:15 am
    Happy holidays babe! Hope you have your rest and peace this holiday season❤️❤️ anyways, can i ask if u have some advices on how to decenter men in our life? Like im being bothered when i still have this pickmeisha traits🤣 like why am i bother of other woman’s beauty? Badly wanna lose all of my pick me sha traits before the year ends. Thank you so much queen!
    • SLC replied:
      on January 6, 2025 9:11 pm
      happy new year baby💖 the best way to decenter men is literally in the word itself… don’t make them the center of your mind. Instead, center yourself. Ask yourself, when you do things, are you doing it because you personally like it or because its going to please men? your hobbies, how you present yourself, how you speak, your life goals etc, shouldn’t be based on the need to be desirable to men, if it is, you gotta change it. Do things you want to do, not for a man but for you. You can’t put a mans feelings over your own. Raise that self-worth up girl, no one on this earth can tell you your worth but you. Start practicing this, when you walk past a guy, instead of over analyzing how you might of appeared to him, keep it pushing. When you’re going out with your friends, instead of picking an outfit that you’d only wear to turn heads, pick something else (that doesn’t mean don’t be cute ofc but if youre wearing that mini dress just to impress some guy instead of yourself then….). When you’re scrolling on ig, instead of feeling a way that this ig baddie has a bunch of men commenting on her picture.. actually take time to look at some of those guys’ profile and ask yourself if you’d even want attention from men like this (the 55 year old weirdo saying ‘sxy baby’ on someone’s page has nothing they can do for me.. immediately no). The more you practice decentering men, the more easier it’ll become and you’ll realize how much more freeing it is to just not give a fuck. When it comes to being bothered by another woman’s beauty because of men, you have to reframe your thoughts and question why you feel that way? what is so important about the male gaze + attention that it would have you envying another girl because of it? baby these men out here will go for ANYBODYYY, don’t think that having their attention puts you on any special pedestal because it don’t. When i was younger i use to feel all cute when i would get a bunch of messages from guys… not knowing that they’re probably saying the same shit to the next girl. Again it all comes down to raising your self worth. you are the baddest with or without a man telling you so. Start believing it.
  • Someone asked:
    on December 21, 2024 7:35 pm
    Sis, i was asked to be a girlfriend and this is going to be my first proper relationship. I dont know how a relationship works. Because all i have been in is a friends with benefits type of relationship. I am 21 years of age though. So xan you tell me what it entails ,what to do i want this to work
    • SLC replied:
      on January 6, 2025 9:28 pm
      hi sis, firstly don’t put too much pressure on yourself to make the relationship ‘work’. If you do that then you’ll start dismissing your own feelings in order to make your partner happy and thats not okay. It’s your first time so i know you feel like you don’t want to mess this up but a relationship is a partnership which means it should be equal. Both your opinions should be heard and both your opinions matter. Don’t do anything that you don’t want to do as well, that goes into the first point of dismissing your own feelings. As much as you wanna make your partner happy, if that means making you upset or giving into something you don’t like for their sake then its a no no. Make sure that you’re still doing everything you love and are taking time out for yourself. I love being up under my man but i know my limits and when i need my personal space. You never wanna lose yourself in a relationship. You never wanna lose yourself in a relationship. Now onto the positive stuff, make sure you have fun and enjoy one another. relationships should be fun. respect+trust one another, have open communication, set boundaries and really be there for each other. No relationship is perfect and yes sometimes you two will not see eye to eye, but that’s where the respect comes in. As people always say ‘healthy relationships aren’t found, they’re created’. wishing you both a long and healthy relationship💞
  • Someone asked:
    on December 18, 2024 1:31 am
    Hey, do you provide promo?
    • SLC replied:
      on January 6, 2025 9:13 pm
      yes depending on what it is, on my sister account @she.isgrowth xoxo
  • Someone asked:
    on December 12, 2024 4:24 pm
    I recently found out some painful new details about my ex. After breaking up with me following my graduation (I sent In My Question A Few Weeks Ago – I don’t Know If You Remember), he posted videos online with another girl. It turns out that just one week after our breakup, he asked her to be his girlfriend. I only learned about this because she called me. It’s now clear that while I thought we were working on things, he was already getting to know her. What hurts even more is how deceitful he was. He used excuses about his mental health and not being where he wanted to be in life as reasons to leave me, but then quickly moved on to someone else. It feels so low, especially since I cared for him, worried about him, and constantly gave him the benefit of the doubt. To make matters worse, his girlfriend called me to check if our timelines overlapped. Once she realized they didn’t, she completely took his side. She started rubbing things in my face, talking about all the nice things he does for her, like buying her flowers and a promise ring—things he rarely did for me. She even mentioned that he told her I never got the same treatment. Hearing her say we got “different versions” of him was devastating. It’s deeply affected my self-esteem, knowing he gave her a version of himself that I never got. Again, i’m trying to Trust in God regarding this situation, but i am so done & angry at everything that has happened.
    • SLC replied:
      on January 6, 2025 9:47 pm
      hi sweetie, i know the betrayal hurts. I’m not gonna sit here and tell you to just get over it because that feeling cuts deep. I just want you to know that it is a blessing in disguise. That man is not a prize and for his new girl to sit up here and act like it is… is embarrassing. Karma is that girl and she’ll definitely hit both of them when she’s ready. He just wasn’t the one for you and sometimes thats just how life goes. Sometimes we gotta go through mr.wrong to prepare us for mr. right. Don’t think that you don’t deserve princess treatment just because he didn’t give you it. You’re still deserving of the best kind of love and one day you’ll receive it. For now, you have to give even more extra love to yourself. As i probably said the last time, with time, you’ll heal. Feel the anger, feel the sadness, feel the betrayal, but know that soon you’ll be feeling the relief, the joy and the blessings of coming out of that relationship. xoxo
  • Someone asked:
    on December 8, 2024 9:33 am
    Last night i cried a lot because i realized i loved somebody and he never loved me. I don’t blame myself he did that but I feel so fucked over and used and like a fool. I gave everything i could for a man that didn’t even acknowledge me for over 2 years. Imagine hurting and not having any good memories for your first. He isn’t my ex we were nothing and that’s the truth. I keep what happened to myself I have a stupid card he sent once to know it did happen. It hurts that He had an ex that he loved and went after and gave from the start and I feel really worthless and unloved. He took a lot from me that i’ll never get back. I don’t want to look on his social medias anymore anywhere it just reminds me every time and I feel bad.
    • SLC replied:
      on December 11, 2024 11:39 pm
      i’m so sorry this happened to you babe. I always say heartbreak is one of the worst feelings ever. I want you to know though that you will get through this. i know it’s cliche asf but you’ll get better. You’re not a fool, sometimes we just need these learning lessons. “That betrayal saved you.” I know you may not see it now, but in the long run you will. Why continue to be in something with someone who isn’t able to reciprocate your feelings? You gave your all to a man and what did you get in return? We can’t keep being givers without ever receiving. I know its in our nature to be nurtures and to love hard, but i’m a firm believer in that you should never love a man more than he loves you. At the end of the day, woman naturally give out love/affection/care etc, but a man will only really do so if he sees a future with you. We need to start looking at these signs and acknowledging them for what they are. never ignore someones true colours for the potential you see in them. Again, I know you’re hurting but you’ll back and realize this was the best thing for you. You gotta know your worth baby, never let a man make you feel like you’re asking for too much. Block, delete, mute, throw away the card, do whatever you gotta do but stay off his socials. Thats going to help you start to heal. Moving forward, don’t be so giving. You are the prize boo, you gotta let people earn you. You are worthy of the best kinds of love. So if you see that someone is not reciprocating your energy, LEAVE. No more overextending ourselves. When the love is real, you’ll never have to feel like you’re begging, or chasing. feel it, heal it and grow from it wishing you the best xoxo
  • Someone asked:
    on December 7, 2024 10:09 pm
    Hey how are you? Pray all is well with you in meed your wise wisdom so i’m in college and I recently made a couple friends and we all turned out to be a group of friends and we were having a Friendsgiving Yesterday and one of the guys that are in the group is extremely disrespectful, but constantly play it as a joke yesterday I vocalized to everyone in the group that I no longer rock with this individual that they’re all friends with, and I don’t feel that the group understood where I was coming from and the man has a demeanor or a certain type of tone towards women. He likes to buck at women if that makes sense After the situation happened, I decided to block his number and not call him one on one because I am extremely uncomfortable around this man, especially when me as a woman telling a man don’t touch me and they play it off as a joke and they touch me again and I tell them no I feel that my boundaries were crossed.I do like the other people that are in the group but I already left the group chat and I feel like me leaving the group but just connecting with the individuals that I feel most closest to is best for me, but I know that there are times where they all wanna get together, especially the individual that is super disrespectful. How could I still be Cordial while in A groupA group setting with everyone because I know that they’re also gonna invite that individual, because in all honesty I don’t wanna be cordial with this individual I don’t even want to speak to this individual look at this individual nor see this individual at all and this is my first year transferring from a community college to a big college and I wanna be able to make friends, but I also wanna be loyal to myself where I don’t wanna allow nor tolerate Any disrespect from any person. I hope this all makes sense.
    • SLC replied:
      on December 11, 2024 11:59 pm
      hi love, firstly tysm💞 secondly, i’m super proud of you for respecting yourself enough to stand on your boundaries even if that means not agreeing with the rest of the group. Listen, you’re in college which means you’re grown enough to know who you want around you or not. Don’t ever feel like you’re being extra for holding this boundary because you’re not. This is your world and you get to make the rules for it. Unfortunately though, we gotta sometimes share space with those who we don’t want in our world because we share this bigger world called earth lol. I totally get your point in not wanting to be around him, but since you two both share a friend group, you have to decide how comfortable you’ll be around him in the group setting. You have to see if you’re okay with being with your friends while not having any direct contact with him. If that doesn’t work for you, then you may have to decide that you’re not going to be in certain settings while he’s there. I would let your friends know your stance on this, that way they can move accordingly as well. Its not about picking sides but as your friends i’d hope they’d at least make you feel comfortable. If you need to be the one planning the outings/invites that way you know he won’t be there then you can start doing that too. You could also just let him know how you feel (whether its you telling him personally or one of your friends in the group doing it for you), i mean i don’t know how he would necessarily take it, but if he’s a team player than maybe he’ll respect your boundaries enough to know not to be too much in your presence. There are ways to work around it but it’s really up to you. I want you to know though that you’re not just stuck with this one friend group. You can always venture out and meet new people. It could get to the point where you decide that you have to remove yourself from the friend group fully. If that happens i’d want you to have made other friends. So don’t be afraid to venture out there girl. Again i’m proud of you for staying true to yourself!
  • Someone asked:
    on December 7, 2024 7:51 am
    Hi big sis! Advanced merry christmas and happy new year to us!!! Im so excited for 2025 bcoz I know God have many big plans for all of uss!🌺🥰 anyways, so 2025 is near and Im starting to release any anger or hatred on my heart one by one, I talk to myself and make myself realized that life is too short to be annoyed by irrelevant people. But i have this annoyance or anger with a girl, she’s an ex girlfriend of my now ex boyfriend, after me and that guy broke up after a month they got back together, imagine how gut wrenching is that!! Like???? Huh. Hahaha but yea i think i cant manage on my own to release that anger that I have for her. She really annoys me and that annoys me as well like, self u know that this girl is not worth every energy but when i think abt her sometimes i think that I Should’ve slap that girl but yea. Can i ask for your advice on how not to be bothered by her anymore? I have this feeling that they betrayed me but i just dont wanna know. I know for a fact that she waited for us to break up then boom she make an entrance haha, she used to repost on tiktok just for my ex boyfriend to see it. It annoys me so much that she thought she can just walk all over me like that.
    • SLC replied:
      on December 7, 2024 2:56 pm
      hey baby, Happy Holidays in advance 🥰! in terms of your dilemma honestly just need to let it go. i mean you already knew that, but you really have to start taking actions towards it. Who is this girl to you really? Is she really worth your time or energy? i know you feel like both her and your ex did you wrong but the biggest revenge is honestly upgrading your life and leaving the thought of them in the dust. He’s your ex for a reason, you don’t gotta worry about what he’s doing or who he’s with. Irrelevant people shouldn’t have such a strong hold on you. At the end of the day, you can’t control how they got together, but what you can control is your action towards it. Leave them both in 2024 please. Mute, unfollow, or block if you have to. out of sight = out of mind. We’re onto bigger and better things but we can’t do that with hate in our heart. Let the situation go. Tbh if its really pissing you off, i’d recommend writing a letter to both of them to get all your emotions out and then just ripping it up and throwing it away. This is a really good practice of releasing emotions but also moving forward by ripping it up, demonstrating that all that you released and thrown away all your anger with the letters. Stop giving them your power bby, take it back. The best thing for you to do is focus on you.
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