Is Your Boyfriend Not Listening To You When You Vent?

Are Your Girls Tired Of Giving You Advice About The Same Guy Every Other Week? 

Do You Need Advice On Things That You Just Don’t Want To Share With Your Family & Friends?

Well, No Need To Worry Because I Gotchu Boo! SLC Is Here To Be Your Personal (Unlicensed Ofc) Therapist And Help Give You Advice On Anything And Everything.

Simply Submit Your Question Below For your -SLC Approved Advice To Be Featured On The ASK -SLC Website And/or ASK -SLC Instagram Page

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Answers So Far..

  • Someone asked:
    on June 18, 2024 4:16 pm
    How do you build/create self love/esteem? My parents Didn’t really do so, so now im stuck trying to figure it out. These in turn lead ti self confidence, right? That’s my ultimate goal.
    • SLC replied:
      on June 19, 2024 11:16 am
      i think building self esteem, self love etc, is a life long journey. It’s even longer sometimes when we aren’t instilled it through our childhood. So i say the first part of building up your self love/esteem is reminding yourself that it isnt a linear and that there will be times where you feel like your best self and other times where you’ll feel down. The best thing to remember is that you’ll always get back up again. In terms of tips to helping you keep your esteem up; i’d recommend daily self affirmations, indulging in things that make you feel like your best self (whether its doing your nails, working out, pampering yourself, being sociable/around friends or family etc.), giving yourself grace, and honestly just acting like the person you want to become. Faking it till you make it is so cliche, but it really does work. When you move like the person you want to be, little by little you’re training your brain to actually become that person. Write down who you want your ideal self to be (looks, career, attitude, finances etc) and start showing up as that person. Again, it doesn’t have to be drastic, but the little every day baby steps create the bigger foundation. and so, in case no one has told you, i will. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE LOVED,YOU ARE DESERVING OF LOVE. YOU ARE IMPORTANT. YOU CAN DO AND BE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO.💞
  • Someone asked:
    on June 18, 2024 1:54 pm
    Is touching someone when they told you to stop multiple times considered SA?? I’m asking because i told my mom my situation and she told me that what happened to me was not assault.
    • SLC replied:
      on June 19, 2024 11:02 am
      baby once you no longer give your consent and they continue doing it, it is considered SA. i’m so sorry that happened to you and i’m even more sorry that your mother is downplaying it. Even if you consented at first then changed your mind and vocalized it to the person, they are supposed to stop. NO MEANS NO. Sending you love.
  • Someone asked:
    on June 6, 2024 7:30 am
    My current boy is dating some else and i just find out challeging him he said he love me and want to be with me but he doesn’t want to break up With the lady too He’s playing with my feeling the lady is aware he have a girlfriend but still choose to stay
    • SLC replied:
      on June 19, 2024 11:27 am
      girl run. if that man has a girlfriend already there’s no need for you to even be entertaining him. If he ‘loved’ you like he said he does, then he’d be with you and not her. He is clearly with her for a reason and is clearly not leaving her for that same reason. Don’t let that man play with your emotions. You deserve a man that will only have eyes for YOU.
  • Someone asked:
    on May 31, 2024 7:36 pm
    I love my boyfriend a lot but his parents seem to really like or love me and his mother seems to really want me to have a child or children for him ( she tells me quite a lot sometimes ) but deep down I just want to be young while Traveling the world And focus on my career that I wanna pursue, Plus i don’t think I’m really motherly and I was so glad to hand my boyfriends little 5 year old cousin back to her mother yesterday after playing with her for about 7 hours. I’m more on the not having kids side rather than I’m going to have a child but sometimes I have mixed feelings and I don’t know what to do or pick. I know once a girl has a baby that’s born she can’t do much once it’s here.
    • SLC replied:
      on June 19, 2024 11:25 am
      hi boo, listen this is your life! you are young and are allowed to enjoy these prime years. i personally feel the same way when it comes to having kids, lol i want to enjoy my 20s baby-free and i see nothing wrong with that. I think its even smarter that you want to establish yourself before bringing in another life. At the end of the day, this is your body and your choice, if you want to wait a little longer to have kids or not have kids at all, then thats no ones business but you and your partners. sorry not sorry but his mothers opinion is not important. Too many times i’ve seen mothers regret having their kids young because it stopped them from enjoying their youth. Who knows, maybe right now you’re on the side of not wanting children, but that can change as time goes on. This is just something that you and your partner need to discuss. I think for now though, if his mother does make a comment about you having kids, just politely tell her that it’s not the right time for you right now and leave it at that. This is your womb girl lol protect it!
  • Someone asked:
    on April 29, 2024 12:33 am
    Hey need some help! i have a female ‘friend’ thats we used to be sexually before when i was 21-23 on a off shes 5 years older as we use to be in the same dorms it was on and off as we are Christians and know Its wrong for same sex relationships. It all stopped once we graduated and moved to different Cities. But we still kept in contact. Now im nearly 28 and feel so stupid for what i’ve said & done with her. And disgusted that she was my current age doing things with a younger me and kinda feel used. she has helped me so much during university and my health same way i have been there emotionally through Dramatic times. but i just feel like shes forcing this friendship she went from forcing being calling me best friends,to sister to now saying she values our friendship And ive been distant & want things as how it was before. i remember saying i was in a relationship after things ended with us she was making statement that my ex was sent from the devil but yet came to visit me and ended up intimate. I feel so dumb giving her my body. My question is how do i now distant from her? shes the only ‘ex’ that been lingering in my life shes recently realised i dont pick up calls or text her like before cause the more i mature by the days the more im irritated with my younger self. I Somewhat feel bad for her too, as im her only close friend. to me we just dont think the same no more. Conversations Are usually round past memories. She very stuck in her ways no changes and shes a lesbian battling it never has vocally Admitted but her looks & sexual relationship says otherwise. im not. i just was young had a phase. I want to reinvent my self and meet new People that fit my future aspiring lifestyle
    • SLC replied:
      on June 21, 2024 2:22 pm
      (sorry for the late response🤍😪) firstly, i don’t think you should be so hard on yourself. everyone makes ‘dumb’ decisions when they’re young. you were in a phase where you were exploring yourself in ways you never could before, i don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed of. You need to get to a point where you can forgive yourself for that era because regretting something thats so common for young people to do, isn’t worth it. Now in terms of your ‘friend’, ghosting her clearly isn’t working. i think you just need to be honest with her and tell her how you feel. if you feel like you’ve levelled up and you don’t have that same connection to her as you did when you were younger, then it’s okay to let the relationship go. I always say that some people are just in our lives for a season and a reason. Maybe she was just in your life at that time to help you understand who you/what you want out of life now. It’s okay to end friendships. I know you feel bad that you’re her only close friend, but a friendship out of pity isnt a real friendship. Have that conversation with her and let her know how you feel. You should bring up everything tbh, the past, the regrets you feel regarding the past and just your overall new outlook on life. I think that might be a step to healing and forgiving yourself as well. The conversation doesn’t have to be upsetting or sour, just two adults communicating and setting boundaries. You’re allowed to grow and leave certain people and lifestyles in the past.
  • Someone asked:
    on April 26, 2024 8:36 am
    My ex boyfriend broke up with me about 9 months ago, there was no explanation for it he just told me he did not love me anymore and wanted to be with someone else. But two things were always confusing to me and everyone who knows of the situation: he says I haven’t done anything bad to influence his decision, and he has gone over to someone who has a child (I know he wanted a child like crazyy). In May I found out I suffer from PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome) and in July out of the blue He did this. Even though i have generally moved on and for the most part it was a hidden blessing, I spiritually am having a hard time with him, because as someone who believes in this type of thing it does make sense Certain situations that have been happening with me (and him). With time everyone has eventually found out that he did not break up with me by his own free will, which has made some people talk about it again saying that maybe there’s people influencing him and that they don’t want him happy. But the issue is I am Someone who is open to give out second chances to everyone if I believe it is possible, but in his case I’m not so sure. I’m not expecting him to come back to me but people constantly talk about that possibility and it makes me confused. I don’t know what to do…
    • SLC replied:
      on April 27, 2024 9:23 am
      hi angel, i personally don’t think you should give him a second chance if there was a possibility to. I know you said there may have been influencing factors that made him break up with you, but no one who actually wants to be with you would just leave you like that and then on top of that be with someone else. He’s a grown man (over 18) i’m assuming and is in control of his choices at the end of the day. He chose to walk away from the relationship. Of course i don’t know the full situation, there could be so many different factors, however i think that you should let bygones be bygones. Like you said, it was a hidden blessing in disguise. I’m happy that you’re in a place of moving on and i just feel like you should continue on that journey.
  • Someone asked:
    on April 23, 2024 8:25 pm
    What do you do if you have ppl that try to bring you down with them
    • SLC replied:
      on April 24, 2024 10:52 pm
      Umm LEAVE THEM ALONE! You cannot surround yourself with people who don’t want more for themselves. People will drag you down with them if you let them. If you want more for yourself, you have to be brave enough to separate yourself from those who are okay with being mediocre for the rest of their lives. There’s nothing wrong with saying “I’m better than this” and moving forward. Plain & simple.
  • Someone asked:
    on April 23, 2024 2:02 pm
    Gym or pilates girly?
    • SLC replied:
      on April 24, 2024 11:07 pm
      i’m definetly more of a gym girly. weight lifting is my go to right now (trynna get this booty right😜), but i’ve dabbled in a few pilates classes. I say they’re both good/beneficial for you, it just depends on what your fitness goal is. Shit do both if you can! One thing i’ll say though is don’t think pilates is all dainty and cute lmao i be leaving there SWEATING AND SORE!
  • Someone asked:
    on April 23, 2024 8:47 am
    I had a friend sometime last year who i Considered to be super close to me stop engaging in the things i posted. It starter last summer i noticed she no longer was watching my IG stories or liking my posts but would watch and like mutuals she met through me. Anyway, sometime at the beginning of this year she started an argument with me out of nowhere and we havent talked since. I’m wondering now if this person has always been a secret hater or a friend that turned into one.
    • SLC replied:
      on April 24, 2024 10:17 pm
      Honestly girl it’s hard to say, the friend to secret hater trope is real big these days. It’s hard to know who was ever really genuine. If you guys can’t bounce back from a simple argument then tbh there’s no need for the friendship. Maybe she did have secret animosity towards you and used that argument as a way to end the friendship. Who knows. All I do know though is that you don’t need people like that in your life. We do not have time for unsupportive people in our lives🗣️. Do not surround yourself with energies that vibrate lower than yours. As I always say some people are meant in our lives for a reason or just a season. Clearly she was just for the season and that’s okay. You don’t want people with ulterior motives in your life anyways.
  • Someone asked:
    on April 22, 2024 1:31 pm
    How can i stop stressing so much? I be out having fun and im still Thinking about everything and all of my problems, which ruins the Moment for me
    • SLC replied:
      on April 24, 2024 9:32 pm
      You have to learn to live in the moment. You’re either stressing about something that’s gonna happen in the future or something that’s already happened in the past. In either of those instances you aren’t being present & that’s why you’re unable to enjoy yourself. I can’t sit here and say oh try not to stress because that’s not realistic, but what I can say is that you need to implement ways to reduce your stress; especially when you’re out trying to enjoy the present moment. 1st tip I’ll give you is to put whatever you’re stressing about into perspective by using the 5 by 5 rule. Ask yourself if it’s something that’s gonna matter in 5 years from now, if not then the rule states don’t spend more than 5 minutes being upset about it. 2nd tip I’ll give you is to start saying stress relieving affirmations, use them when you’re out and feel the stressful thoughts creeping up on you. 1. I am in control of this moment 2. I am calm 3. I am safe 4. I choose peace 5. I am free from stress 6. I invite peace into my life 7. In this present moment, I am in control of my thoughts & actions 8. I choose calm energy right now 9. I will not stress over things I cannot control 10. I am enjoying this moment. The 3rd tip id give you is to try and implement meditation, I personally don’t mediate as much anymore but when I was dealing with a lot of racing thoughts/anxiety I use to implement meditation almost daily. There’s a bunch of guided apps/guided YouTube videos you can use as well. I’d even recommend listening to ones that have stress relieving affirmations included in them. All in all, the problem is that you’re not living in your present moment and you need to train your mind to focus on the now. Whatever happened in the past you cannot change and whatever is going to happen in the future you cannot control because you aren’t there yet. Enjoy the moments in front of you, it’s all we have. You will always have problems. Learn to enjoy life while solving them.
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