Is Your Boyfriend Not Listening To You When You Vent?

Are Your Girls Tired Of Giving You Advice About The Same Guy Every Other Week? 

Do You Need Advice On Things That You Just Don’t Want To Share With Your Family & Friends?

Well, No Need To Worry Because I Gotchu Boo! SLC Is Here To Be Your Personal (Unlicensed Ofc) Therapist And Help Give You Advice On Anything And Everything.

Simply Submit Your Question Below For your -SLC Approved Advice To Be Featured On The ASK -SLC Website And/or ASK -SLC Instagram Page

all questions are asked anonymously

*QUESTIONS ARE ANSWERED WITHIN 24-48HRS*

 

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Answers So Far..

  • Someone asked:
    on July 29, 2024 11:55 pm
    Hii girlyyyy! Can i ask how to master not giving a fuck to irellevant people around us? Thank youuuu
    • SLC replied:
      on September 30, 2024 12:47 pm
      hi boo, firstly, sorry for the late response but when i’m not feeling my best i don’t want to give out advice because its me operating on a lower level mentally, y’all deserve the best of me and thats what i want to give out! anyways back to your question… girl you really just gotta stop letting what others do/say dictate your life and make your OWN opinion the only opinion that really matters. If someone is irrelevant then they already have no right being on your mind. We don’t focus on no one whose not positively focusing on us. One thing i learned is that you can’t please everyone, so theres no point in trying. Live your life on your terms. Focus on your own lane, and let people say what they want. At the end of the day, you’ll be so focued on you that other irrelevant opinions won’t even be a after thought. Also i’d suggest getting the book ‘the simple art of not giving a fuck’, it’s literally all about exactly what you’re asking and is a good read too
  • Someone asked:
    on July 26, 2024 11:16 pm
    How can i force myself to be more disciplined
    • SLC replied:
      on July 29, 2024 11:23 pm
      you shouldn’t have to ‘force’ anything because that word right there already makes the outlook negative. discipline isn’t about forcing yourself to do something, i think the best way to look at discipline is as something you do for yourself out of love. You love yourself so much that you want to make better decisions and do things that will benefit yourself. Don’t work out because you ‘hate’ your body, workout because you love your body enough to make sure its healthy and feeling its best. Its always about how you look at things, the more positive the outlook is, the more inclined you are to do.
  • Someone asked:
    on July 25, 2024 12:17 pm
    i feel like i’m constantly chasing someone when its supposed to be the other way around. how do you attract someone to you?
    • SLC replied:
      on July 29, 2024 11:36 pm
      if you’re chasing something, then that means it’s running away from you. The best thing you can do for yourself is put that energy/focus back onto you. What is meant for you will naturally come to you, there wont be no chasing or begging involved.
  • Someone asked:
    on July 25, 2024 2:31 am
    Hey girl i love your page!! You always post about acting like the person you want to become but How do i even figure out who my dream self is? How do i create her??
    • SLC replied:
      on July 27, 2024 11:11 pm
      hi boo, tysm🥰 the best way to figure out who your dream self is, is to sit and ask yourself questions that relate to this dream image you’re trying to build. You have to really get deep with it and figure out all aspects of who ‘you’ are now vs who you ‘want to become’. the main 3 things you should know are WHAT YOU WANT, WHO YOU WANT, AND WHO YOU ARE. Then some questions/prompts to ask/write out are for example: how does your dream self look? how does she dress? who does she surround herself with? what are her goals? what are her passions? what does her income look like? what is her career? is she single? what type of person is she attracted to? what does she do on her free time? how do people treat her? how does she treat people? where does she live? what/who inspires her? what is her wellness/beauty routine like? what boundaries does she have? what is has she let go of? what has she accomplished? you can find so many more prompts to use in building your dream self but the ones i shared are just the ones to really get the ball rolling on creating this dream self. it’s so much easier to create something when you have it all laid on for you to see/visualize. The most important thing you have to remember is that SHE IS YOU, so act like her, be confident in this new and improved you and also be patient with yourself while becoming her.
  • Someone asked:
    on July 19, 2024 12:07 am
    What is your advice when people use your past against you or resurface negative moments in your life for shits and giggles?
    • SLC replied:
      on July 24, 2024 4:41 pm
      as long as you’ve owned up to your past and accepted/forgiven yourself for it, then honestly who cares what other people think. Idk your religion per se, but i’m a firm believer in only God can judge you. If its a possibility for you to tell them to stop then do that because you should definitely be standing up for yourself, but other than that, ignore it. people will always talk and you’ll never be able to please everyone. Just remind yourself that no one on this earth is perfect and we all have shit that we wish we never did. The same people using your past against you probably have a past they prayyyy will stay in the dark. You really have to take the negativity with a grain of salt. If you’re content with yourself then thats all that matters.
  • Someone asked:
    on July 19, 2024 12:01 am
    How do I get over a friend who blocked me with no explanation and stop lurking on their socials? I hate admitting this but I know it unhealthy and isn’t doing me any favors. Around this time last year, my “best friend” blocked me out of the blue. I don’t know what I said or did to cause them to do that but I know it hurt my feelings a lot and made me questions myself as a person. I’ve always had a hard time fitting in, making friends and I also was going through a lot mentally when they did this. They blocked my phone number, discord, and Twitter. However, they didn’t block me on Instagram (my account was deactivated up until three weeks ago) So every now and then, I stalk their page and look through their photos occasionally. I miss them so much and it hurts my heart but I don’t want to cross any boundaries so what do I do?
    • SLC replied:
      on July 24, 2024 6:47 pm
      hi love, unfortunately things like this happen, the people we care about the most can switch up on us and it can really feel like a breakup. At the end of the day this ‘friend’ clearly stated that they no longer want you in their life and thats just something you’re going to have to accept. You have to respect their boundaries and let things be. I would personally recommend just unfollowing or blocking their instagram from your personal page just so its stop you from constantly looking at their page. Like you said it isn’t healthy and its not gonna help you get over the friendship any faster. the same thing i say to girls going through a relationship breakup is the same thing i’ll say to you, ‘out of sight = out of mind’, with time, the more you’re less focused on this person (ie lurking their socials), the more easier it is for you to move on. of course give yourself time to mourn the friendship but make sure you’re also distracting yourself with positive things/people as well. I don’t know the full dynamics of your friendship but i do know that friends are meant to support and uplift one another, so if that’s not the energy you’re receiving then the friendship wasn’t meant to be.
  • Someone asked:
    on July 18, 2024 11:53 pm
    Hi! I hope you are well. I love your page. For the past couple months now, I’ve been feeling pretty shitty. I turn 23 this year and I wasted my life being anxious and focusing on how others perceive me. I don’t have a lot of friends. I don’t have a license or car and I’ve dealt with a lot of shitty people this past year along with situations I can’t seem to get over. When I see others my age who have the things I don’t, I get jealous and feel ashamed of myself for not being where I am supposed to be. I think I waited to long to actually work on myself on a deeper level and with the possible direction the world is going in, my dreams and goals seem so much farther than they already were. I feel like a failure.
    • SLC replied:
      on July 24, 2024 5:19 pm
      hi boo, thank you so so much you’re greatly appreciated. First things first, theres no such thing as ‘waited too long to work on yourself’. We are human and are constantly shifting, changing, growing, evolving etc. There are 30 year olds who don’t have their lives together and there are 50 year olds who are starting their self-journey all over again. You are only 23 and i know that it doesn’t seem like it but you have soooooo much time. Also don’t think that there will ever be a set age where you’ll just always have your shit together. thats not how life works, there will always be ups and downs. Now, with that being said, yes, there are things that you currently need to work on in order to feel better about yourself/get yourself more aligned with who you want to be. Ima tell you straight up that sitting there and feeling sorry for yourself isnt going to change anything babe. Trust me, i’ve been there. i’m 26 and i have those same exact doubts sometimes. Thats what your 20s is all about tbh, i promise you’re not the only one that feels like this. The difference is though that even with those doubts, people are getting up and doing the shit that they need to do in order to better themselves. Okay so you dont have a license or a car.. guess what you can do? go study for the test/take driving lessons in order to help you obtain your license and then make a financial plan that will align you with getting a car. Again it doesn’t have to be all at once, you have to be patient with yourself. You dont have a lot of friends? you gotta put yourself out there to where you can align yourself with new people, i’ve answered a couple questions on ho to make friends as an adult so go read those if you need tips. You’ve dealt with some shitty people this year? Guess what boo, there are shitty people everywhere and sometimes we just can’t avoid them. the best thing you can do is take whatever you’ve dealt with as a lesson, cut those people off and move forward. I saw all this to emphasis that if you want change, you have to be the change. you gotta work on you for you. Sitting around being sad about it isn’t going to get you anywhere but feeling more behind. You are not a failure. You are a person in their mid 20s trying to figure out life. i know it may seem as though everyone else has it together but i promise you a lot of us are winging this shit. And yes there are some people your age or younger that are successful or have the things that you want, BUT instead of being jealous, use that as inspiration. If they can have it, why can’t you? The only difference is again, they actually went for it. You have so much time to learn, love and work on yourself. Forget what everyone else is doing and focus on your lane. You don’t have to have life figured out by 25. This is your journey, your pace and your own timeline. You are not behind in life. You’re just in your own path. Redirect that energy of feeling like a failure and remind yourself that this is only just the beginning.
  • Someone asked:
    on July 15, 2024 9:07 pm
    How do i start my life over ? Where do i start?
    • SLC replied:
      on July 24, 2024 4:57 pm
      you need to start off with an overall list of what you want out of this ‘new’ life of yours. Write out why you want to change (what is the reason why you want to start over? what things do you have to change? does this current you align with who you want to be? what are things you’ve done that you never want to do again?,are there things that your current self needs to forgive yourself for? etc.) and write out who you want to be (how you look, how you dress, how you act, hobbies, new values/standards you want to implement, the type of people you want to be around, things you want to learn, career goals etc). After you have a pretty good outline of this ‘new you’, work on now implementing the things that this new you would do. whether its going to the gym, cutting off certain people, buying new clothes etc; you have to slowly but surely step into this new you. As i always preach, ‘ACT LIKE THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BECOME’. You need to be constantly mindful of how this new you operates and act accordingly. You also have to give yourself grace because it’s not going to be something overnight. There will be times where you’ll fall back into old habits or do certain things that don’t align with who you want to be. Thats normal and its okay. The best thing you can do in those moments is give yourself grace and try again. Discipline is the name of the game when it comes to rebranding into a better person. You have to make sure your discipline is bigger than your motivation because you may not always be motivated but thats where discipline comes in to save you. Overall its about having a clear vision (written down) and taking the proper steps to making those visions turn into a reality (taking action) while also being kind/patient with yourself in the process (giving yourself grace). wishing you all the luck on this journey💖
  • Someone asked:
    on July 13, 2024 3:37 pm
    Hey girl how do you let go of someone who dogs you and then walks out of your life when you don’t want them to? I wanna let go but at the same time i dont
    • SLC replied:
      on July 15, 2024 1:48 am
      listen boo, your job isn’t to convince someone of your value. if they don’t see it then thats on them. Never disrespect yourself by begging anyone to stay in your life if they don’t want to. Plus like you said… this person dogged you, why would you want someone like that in your life anyways? ‘You have to love yourself so much that you become unbothered by the lack of love from others.’ The right person wont ever have you asking for respect or loyalty.. aka the bare minimum.
  • Someone asked:
    on July 12, 2024 9:02 pm
    Ok this is me following up from june 21st, 10:39pm. At this point, im honestly lost for words & Honestly wtf did i just experience. I feel like the reason why it fucks with my head even more is because this happened to me in the past where talked to guy when i mention title/relationship say they dont Want one only for 1-3 months later see them going on dates talking to someone. Why do men do that? I honestly just dont know. I made a priomise to myself that i wouldnt let that happen to me again. And it did…. I literally saw him go on a Dinner date with some girl last week. So atp its just like…😂i guess what im saying is.. why do men talk to women knowing they dont want a relationship then when shit hits the fan they go to the next girl just to do exactly what u were asking. Like at this point what were his intentions. Idk what do you think. Like im really trying to process This whole thing. While were speaking i bought him an amiri hat for his b irthday and when we stopped speaking, i guess he took a professional pic with him wearing the hat and changed his profile picture to that….. idk its just weirdd. What do you think?
    • SLC replied:
      on July 15, 2024 10:30 am
      one thing a men is gonna do is treat you how you let him. When you don’t stand on your boundaries (ie. i want a relationship out of this or i’m done), they will play you like a fool because they know they can get away with it. A lot of these guys wanna have their cake and eat it too and a lot of girls will enable them to do so. When it comes to men, you cannot play around with them. They know which girls to play with and which ones to take seriously just based on how you operate with them. I’ve never had a man play with me before because they know from the jump that i’m not the one to play with. You gotta really stand on business. One or two red flags, you need to let it go. You state you want somehting serious and they dont.. you need to let it go. You catch them talking to other girls when it’s supposed to be exclusive… you need to let him go. Don’t allow the toxic shit to play out because that’s all the relationship will turn into. Us women, we think too much with our hearts and not our heads and that’s exactly why we get burned so much. It’s okay to like someone, but you cannot like him enough to the point where you’re disrespecting yourself. There is always other (and a lot of times better) fish in the sea so if someones not on the vibe you’re on.. save yourself the time and embarrassment and LET IT GO. In terms of the amiri hat… just let it be, that hat will soon turn into a reminder for him that he let a good girl go. However next time don’t be getting guys gifts when they don’t deserve it. Remember you are the prize. Keep that in mind and watch how fast you’ll attract the right ones.
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