Is Your Boyfriend Not Listening To You When You Vent?

Are Your Girls Tired Of Giving You Advice About The Same Guy Every Other Week? 

Do You Need Advice On Things That You Just Don’t Want To Share With Your Family & Friends?

Well, No Need To Worry Because I Gotchu Boo! SLC Is Here To Be Your Personal (Unlicensed Ofc) Therapist And Help Give You Advice On Anything And Everything.

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Answers So Far..

  • Someone asked:
    on December 8, 2024 9:33 am
    Last night i cried a lot because i realized i loved somebody and he never loved me. I don’t blame myself he did that but I feel so fucked over and used and like a fool. I gave everything i could for a man that didn’t even acknowledge me for over 2 years. Imagine hurting and not having any good memories for your first. He isn’t my ex we were nothing and that’s the truth. I keep what happened to myself I have a stupid card he sent once to know it did happen. It hurts that He had an ex that he loved and went after and gave from the start and I feel really worthless and unloved. He took a lot from me that i’ll never get back. I don’t want to look on his social medias anymore anywhere it just reminds me every time and I feel bad.
    • SLC replied:
      on December 11, 2024 11:39 pm
      i’m so sorry this happened to you babe. I always say heartbreak is one of the worst feelings ever. I want you to know though that you will get through this. i know it’s cliche asf but you’ll get better. You’re not a fool, sometimes we just need these learning lessons. “That betrayal saved you.” I know you may not see it now, but in the long run you will. Why continue to be in something with someone who isn’t able to reciprocate your feelings? You gave your all to a man and what did you get in return? We can’t keep being givers without ever receiving. I know its in our nature to be nurtures and to love hard, but i’m a firm believer in that you should never love a man more than he loves you. At the end of the day, woman naturally give out love/affection/care etc, but a man will only really do so if he sees a future with you. We need to start looking at these signs and acknowledging them for what they are. never ignore someones true colours for the potential you see in them. Again, I know you’re hurting but you’ll back and realize this was the best thing for you. You gotta know your worth baby, never let a man make you feel like you’re asking for too much. Block, delete, mute, throw away the card, do whatever you gotta do but stay off his socials. Thats going to help you start to heal. Moving forward, don’t be so giving. You are the prize boo, you gotta let people earn you. You are worthy of the best kinds of love. So if you see that someone is not reciprocating your energy, LEAVE. No more overextending ourselves. When the love is real, you’ll never have to feel like you’re begging, or chasing. feel it, heal it and grow from it wishing you the best xoxo
  • Someone asked:
    on December 7, 2024 10:09 pm
    Hey how are you? Pray all is well with you in meed your wise wisdom so i’m in college and I recently made a couple friends and we all turned out to be a group of friends and we were having a Friendsgiving Yesterday and one of the guys that are in the group is extremely disrespectful, but constantly play it as a joke yesterday I vocalized to everyone in the group that I no longer rock with this individual that they’re all friends with, and I don’t feel that the group understood where I was coming from and the man has a demeanor or a certain type of tone towards women. He likes to buck at women if that makes sense After the situation happened, I decided to block his number and not call him one on one because I am extremely uncomfortable around this man, especially when me as a woman telling a man don’t touch me and they play it off as a joke and they touch me again and I tell them no I feel that my boundaries were crossed.I do like the other people that are in the group but I already left the group chat and I feel like me leaving the group but just connecting with the individuals that I feel most closest to is best for me, but I know that there are times where they all wanna get together, especially the individual that is super disrespectful. How could I still be Cordial while in A groupA group setting with everyone because I know that they’re also gonna invite that individual, because in all honesty I don’t wanna be cordial with this individual I don’t even want to speak to this individual look at this individual nor see this individual at all and this is my first year transferring from a community college to a big college and I wanna be able to make friends, but I also wanna be loyal to myself where I don’t wanna allow nor tolerate Any disrespect from any person. I hope this all makes sense.
    • SLC replied:
      on December 11, 2024 11:59 pm
      hi love, firstly tysm💞 secondly, i’m super proud of you for respecting yourself enough to stand on your boundaries even if that means not agreeing with the rest of the group. Listen, you’re in college which means you’re grown enough to know who you want around you or not. Don’t ever feel like you’re being extra for holding this boundary because you’re not. This is your world and you get to make the rules for it. Unfortunately though, we gotta sometimes share space with those who we don’t want in our world because we share this bigger world called earth lol. I totally get your point in not wanting to be around him, but since you two both share a friend group, you have to decide how comfortable you’ll be around him in the group setting. You have to see if you’re okay with being with your friends while not having any direct contact with him. If that doesn’t work for you, then you may have to decide that you’re not going to be in certain settings while he’s there. I would let your friends know your stance on this, that way they can move accordingly as well. Its not about picking sides but as your friends i’d hope they’d at least make you feel comfortable. If you need to be the one planning the outings/invites that way you know he won’t be there then you can start doing that too. You could also just let him know how you feel (whether its you telling him personally or one of your friends in the group doing it for you), i mean i don’t know how he would necessarily take it, but if he’s a team player than maybe he’ll respect your boundaries enough to know not to be too much in your presence. There are ways to work around it but it’s really up to you. I want you to know though that you’re not just stuck with this one friend group. You can always venture out and meet new people. It could get to the point where you decide that you have to remove yourself from the friend group fully. If that happens i’d want you to have made other friends. So don’t be afraid to venture out there girl. Again i’m proud of you for staying true to yourself!
  • Someone asked:
    on December 7, 2024 7:51 am
    Hi big sis! Advanced merry christmas and happy new year to us!!! Im so excited for 2025 bcoz I know God have many big plans for all of uss!🌺🥰 anyways, so 2025 is near and Im starting to release any anger or hatred on my heart one by one, I talk to myself and make myself realized that life is too short to be annoyed by irrelevant people. But i have this annoyance or anger with a girl, she’s an ex girlfriend of my now ex boyfriend, after me and that guy broke up after a month they got back together, imagine how gut wrenching is that!! Like???? Huh. Hahaha but yea i think i cant manage on my own to release that anger that I have for her. She really annoys me and that annoys me as well like, self u know that this girl is not worth every energy but when i think abt her sometimes i think that I Should’ve slap that girl but yea. Can i ask for your advice on how not to be bothered by her anymore? I have this feeling that they betrayed me but i just dont wanna know. I know for a fact that she waited for us to break up then boom she make an entrance haha, she used to repost on tiktok just for my ex boyfriend to see it. It annoys me so much that she thought she can just walk all over me like that.
    • SLC replied:
      on December 7, 2024 2:56 pm
      hey baby, Happy Holidays in advance 🥰! in terms of your dilemma honestly just need to let it go. i mean you already knew that, but you really have to start taking actions towards it. Who is this girl to you really? Is she really worth your time or energy? i know you feel like both her and your ex did you wrong but the biggest revenge is honestly upgrading your life and leaving the thought of them in the dust. He’s your ex for a reason, you don’t gotta worry about what he’s doing or who he’s with. Irrelevant people shouldn’t have such a strong hold on you. At the end of the day, you can’t control how they got together, but what you can control is your action towards it. Leave them both in 2024 please. Mute, unfollow, or block if you have to. out of sight = out of mind. We’re onto bigger and better things but we can’t do that with hate in our heart. Let the situation go. Tbh if its really pissing you off, i’d recommend writing a letter to both of them to get all your emotions out and then just ripping it up and throwing it away. This is a really good practice of releasing emotions but also moving forward by ripping it up, demonstrating that all that you released and thrown away all your anger with the letters. Stop giving them your power bby, take it back. The best thing for you to do is focus on you.
  • Someone asked:
    on December 6, 2024 5:22 pm
    How can i detach from people? Romantically and platonically
    • SLC replied:
      on December 7, 2024 2:46 pm
      the key thing in detaching from people is remembering that some people are not meant to be in our lives forever, sometimes they’re just put in our lives as lessons needed for us to grow. You have to let people show you who you are instead of seeing them how YOU want them to be. Once you see peoples true colours, you are then the one who decides whether you want them in your life or not. Focus only on what you can control. If its not within your control, you gotta let it be. If someone is making your life harder, why are you holding onto them? you deserve healthy relationships in all areas of your life. Holding onto something that no longer serves you, will drain you in the long run. We’re no longer chasing people. Doing so lowers your self worth. Build stronger self-worth and know your value. You don’t need any one else to feel complete, you complete yourself and everyone else should just add to it. No more feeling guilty, no more ignoring your boundaries and no more pleasing people that do not deserve it. Moving forward, start letting people earn you. stop giving such quick access to yourself without knowing if a person is worthy of it. your energy is a privilege, let people rise up to meet you. No more giving it up for free.
  • Someone asked:
    on December 6, 2024 12:17 pm
    I need 💡💡 What are some interesting low intensity jobs (not that physically draining, I mean every job is but lesser, and not something i need to take home and do)? I got one where I will work 2-3 days (it’s flexible and part time which is what i want) a week through the christmas period and I don’t know if they will prolong it. All i see it retail, cleaning and administration and i can’t do that it’s generally painfully boring/draining and it makes me feel shit mentally. I just want time for myself for a while hopefully and some money on the side 🦥🐢
    • SLC replied:
      on December 7, 2024 1:44 pm
      you can definitely look into social media evaluating and/or Ai training, i did that for many years once i was over retail. Its work from home positions where you can also make your own hours. AI is on the rise whether we like it or not, so there are many companies that are paying people to train AI systems remotely. Beware though, just as there are many pros like working your own hours/working from home, there are also some cons like insufficient work at times, system errors, lack of communication from project managers, and multiple exams. Give it a shot though especially if you’re good with part time work. I was able to focus on myself x my brand while luckily being able to make enough money to cover everything i needed. Another thing you can look into is being an online assistant, you can find clients through fivver, upwork, etc. Trust me, we’re in 2024 boo, its less about working hard and more about working smart. There’s a bunch of options, you just gotta do your research. Hope you find something xx
  • Someone asked:
    on December 5, 2024 11:09 pm
    Hii sis i Really want to start my 2025 planning now. what are some things you’re leaving in 2024??
    • SLC replied:
      on December 6, 2024 8:36 pm
      Things we’re leaving behind in 2024! 1. neglecting self-care 2. Comparing ourselves to others 3. Social media overload 4. procrastination + excuses 5. being in drama 6. playing it small + self doubt 7. wasting energy on people who don’t deserve it / ignoring our boundaries / accepting the bare minimum 8. not celebrating ourselves 9. limiting beliefs 10. overthinking. 2025 is OUR year, we leaving all the negativity behind. its only up from here🍾💖
  • Someone asked:
    on December 3, 2024 6:41 am
    Hi Sis, i want to start a profitable business But have no idea of what to venture into can i please get some ideas from you. And also do you know of any medicine or supplement i can take to loose weight Alongside exercising
    • SLC replied:
      on December 4, 2024 11:26 pm
      hi boo, there’s a lot of different things you can venture into if you want to start a profitable business. The main thing in choosing something is making sure that it aligns with you, you cant sell anything that you don’t personally believe it because it will show through how you run the business. if i was you, i’d personally take time out to research potential ventures and look more into them. Don’t just take my examples and go with it, do your own research and figure out what aligns with you! Some examples are, social media management, video editor, UGC, freelance writing, freelance design services, coaching/consulting, online boutique, selling digital products (colouring books, templates, guides, journals etc), beauty/lifestyle/wellness blog, creating online courses, etc. The list literally goes on and on, there’s so many options. Again you have to do your own research and really diversify yourself with all the different options, seeing what resonates with you. Hopefully some of my examples gave you some inspo. In terms of the second question, you’re asking the wrong girl lol, unfortunately idk about any of that. Google and youtube will be your best friend though; along with speaking to your health provider xoxo
  • Someone asked:
    on December 3, 2024 6:38 am
    Hey sis, how can i become that Girl
    • SLC replied:
      on December 4, 2024 11:45 pm
      hey sis, firstly, you’re ALREADY ‘that girl’, don’t forget it. What your question should be is how can you keep elevating who you already are. you need to start off with an overall vision of who you want to be as ‘that girl’, Write out why you want to change (what is the reason why you want to ‘HER’? what things do you have to change? does this current you align with who you want to be? what are things you’ve done that you never want to do again?,are there things that your current self needs to forgive yourself for? etc.) and write out who you want to be (how you look, how you dress, how you act, hobbies, new values/standards you want to implement, the type of people you want to be around, things you want to learn, career goals etc). After you have a pretty good outline of this ‘new you’, work on now implementing the things that this new you would do. whether its going to the gym, cutting off certain people, buying new clothes etc; you have to slowly but surely step into this new you. As i always preach, ‘ACT LIKE THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BECOME’. You need to be constantly mindful of how this new you operates and act accordingly. You also have to give yourself grace because it’s not going to be something overnight. There will be times where you’ll fall back into old habits or do certain things that don’t align with who you want to be. Thats normal and its okay. The best thing you can do in those moments is give yourself grace and try again. Discipline is the name of the game when it comes to rebranding into a better person. You have to make sure your discipline is bigger than your motivation because you may not always be motivated but thats where discipline comes in to save you. Overall its about having a clear vision (written down) and taking the proper steps to making those visions turn into a reality (taking action) while also being kind/patient with yourself in the process (giving yourself grace). some key categories are 1. prioritizing self-care – you gotta put you first! journaling, reading, proper skincare routine, mindfulness, etc. 2. growing confidence– as that girl you gotta have confidence, you can do so by practicing self love, embracing yourself (flaws and all) and taking risks (fake it till you make it boo) 3. Prioritizing your looks – when you look good, you feel good, start adapting a beauty routine, exercising, eating nourishing food, wearing clothes that make you feel your best etc. 4. Stay disciplined– you gotta work to be your dream self every single day, even if its the smallest task. do it for her, do it for you. develop positive habits and stick with them 5. Gratitude – be grateful for everything, a grateful girl is a blessed girl and that girl knows she is always blessed. 6. Be authentic – You have to embrace your own aura & uniqueness. This ties back into building more confidence. You are 1 of 1. You can’t be ‘you’ if you’re too busy being ‘them.’ Remember that being ‘that girl’ isn’t about living up to a certain image, its about embracing your best self and consistently levelling up💖
  • Someone asked:
    on November 30, 2024 12:21 am
    I came to the realization that people act sexual towards Me in particular or show me there are interested in ways i find strange. I remember when I was a Pharmacy cashier last year in 2023 a young But older White Girl had came to pick up a prescription with her 2 kids and the whole time she was looking Into my eyes and face like she’s into Me the whole time. I was looking down after because it was awkward. Then I saw her some Months after i moved into a new department (the electronic department ) and she came in with a female friend that day and she had said she liked my Hairstyle as I was looking for something for her at my job and I said thanks keeping our interactions brief, a girl who was pregnant with her 1st Child was braiding my hair last year and she ramdomly asked me if I was into boys and men only and I said Yea . I haven’t been with a lady or girl before. I swear it looked like she was leaning over to try to kiss me, I’ve had a bunch of men flirt with me too even male customers. One man mentioning my lips look juicy and plump to him, one man telling me he loves me and to stay beautiful, a group of boys recorded me once at work and was trying to be slick like they were taking a group Snapchat video. I ended up walking into the video since they needed me to open a case for them. A male teacher when I was in 10th grade told me I’m his favorite Student despite me being confused as to why ( i did well in His class but still ). He also told me in front of my classmates that I can call him by his 1st name “Glenn “. I was paranoid and overwhelmed. Recently Before I left my former job I had went outside to get my food from a Uber delivery guy and an older white man came to talk to me across the street from his house. He was talking to me about a book and then randomly showed me a picture of his wife asking me if I find his wife beautiful. The lady looked pretty and had a nice smile so I said yes. Then some minutes later he said ” aren’t you just cute as can be 😍? ” i had told my mom and found that strange as if the man wants us to have a threesome together 😂. I don’t know like stuff like that is kinds scary and makes me feel Uncomfortable 😅.
    • SLC replied:
      on December 3, 2024 1:01 am
      whew catcalling or people randomly flirting with you can definitely be uncomfortable, especially if its not wanted. As much as it can be seen as a confidence booster, just remember that you’re allowed to have boundaries and if you feel like someone is crossing them, speak up! you’re clearly a beautiful girl but that doesn’t give people the right to be all up on you if you don’t want that. So always remember your boundaries and follow your intuition. If you don’t like their advances, don’t entertain it. other than that i’d say thats just kinda how life is being an attractive woman lol, you just gotta take the compliments sometimes and keep it pushing.
  • Someone asked:
    on November 29, 2024 8:59 pm
    I just got out of a 8 month relationship with my ex. I was 16 when i got with him and i am currently 17. Before i met him i was in this toxic Relationship for 3 years. We did some stuff and the boy left and i jumped into a relationship with my ex. We were good for the first couple of months. One day i was taking a test and i had many come to me saying he was chasing after his ex while i was away. I was hurt because he told me so much that she did to him. He called me another ex name and at that point i done. He put his hands on me and no one knows. I had kept it a secret for so long. I cheated on him back cause i wanted him to hurt like he did me. We recently just ended and hes going around telling everyone the reason we have broken up was because i cheated. I cheated a month ago and he stayed with me just like i did him. His friends has attacked me and no seems to understand my side of the story. I Honestly dont wanna go back to school. I’m losing myself and i dont know what to do. I dont even know the first thing about healing. I just want to be happy within me. I wanna learn how to live life with wanting to feel loved. I cant eat and sleep. I just sleep all day which doesnt really help anything. I wanna be gentle. I want peace in my life. I want to learn how to be a God’s child. Im losing myself.
    • SLC replied:
      on December 3, 2024 12:53 am
      hi lovely, im sorry you’re going through a hard time right now, but as cliche as it sounds, it’ll get better. I’m happy that you ended things with him because this relationship sounds super toxic and you don’t deserve that. I know you want people to hear your side of the story, but you’ll waste your breath trying to get people on your side who have already made their opinions on you. Who cares what his friends think? they’re obviously going to side with him because that’s their friend. you don’t have to prove anything to anybody. None of these people are entitled to your energy. As long as you and those you care about are on your side… fuck everybody else, respectfully. This may seem like the worst thing ever to you right now but i promise you with time, you’ll get through it. you don’t know how strong you are. you don’t know how much power you hold. don’t let this boy take away all your power. You need to hold your head up and know that God’s got you and thats all that matters. As i always say, you’re allowed to hurt. Grieve the relationship, but then you gotta put your big girl panties on and do better for yourself. Stop putting your energy towards him and start putting it towards yourself. There’s so much power in letting go, thats the first step to healing. I recommend journaling, to help release all your emotions, praying, just know that God sees you & hears you, saying self-love affirmations daily ( i am loveable, i will get through this, i am deserving of love, i forgive and release the past, i fully love and accept myself, i trust my journey and where its leading me etc.), practicing self-care (dressing up, pampering yourself, exercising, reading, having you-days etc), and giving yourself grace, (not judging yourself for not being okay, giving yourself time to grow, reclaiming your independence slowly but surely, etc). With time you will heal and you’ll notice you’re healing because you’ll begin to reclaim a sense of independence, you’ll feel emotionally stable, you’ll start enjoying yourself more and thinking about the break up less & less. You’ll be good baby. You’re not losing yourself, if anything this is life giving you the perfect chance to relearn yourself.
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